You Hold Me Now

The Sunday before I went back to school, my pastor gave a sermon about heaven. I feel like a lot of pastors don't do messages on heaven. It was so refreshing to hear someone talk about it, and it answered a lot of questions I've always had about heaven. He emphasized how we can't imagine what heaven is like because there's nothing like it here on earth. There will be no pain, sadness, suffering, conflict, it will be perfect. After his sermon, the band played a song that perfectly summed everything. The chorus went like this:

No weeping,
No hurt or pain,
No suffering,
You hold me now, You hold me now

There was a family sitting in front of me with a small daughter. By the end of the sermon she had fallen asleep, so when we stood up to sing, her father picked her up and held her. We sang the chorus again and I looked up at this little girl. It hit me. This was a small image of heaven. This little girl, asleep in her father's arms, she was content. She had no pain or sadness. Her father was holding her. It brought a tear to my eye. Such a warm reminder of how wonderful heaven is going to be.

Oh, and if anybody knows the name of that song and who sings it, I'd be eternally grateful.

I Promise I Won't Forget About My Blog This Time

That's my New Year's Resolution. I normally don't make any resolutions, but I intend to keep this one. I'm not making any excuses for my lack of posting. I just simply stopped for some reason. I'm not sure why, because I really do like writing this blog. So, I promise you, reader, that I will not leave you hanging for months on end, waiting anxiously for another post (okay, only like six of you read this anyway, but still, I promise).

It's J-term here at Mount Vernon, which means I only have one class for the whole month of January and I have it every day. I'm taking public speaking. So far it doesn't seem too bad, although this was only the first day of class. We'll see how it goes. But the benefit of only having one class is that I have a lot of extra time, which means that I'll be able to more things! Like blog more often, read my new C.S. Lewis book, learn songs on my guitar I've been wanting to play for months. Awesome stuff like that!

So, I, Kathleen Finley, pinky promise that I will not forget about my blog, and will try to write a new post at least once a week.

Remember to eat your veggies.

I'm a College Athlete?

I sincerely apologize for not writing about this sooner. College is very clingy and wants all of my attention, but we've been having some talks and agreed to give each other some space. I hope that joke makes you smile, otherwise I'll feel weird for writing it. Anyway, I moved into school 2 weeks early for cross country camp and haven't looked back! It's still a little strange for me to think that I'm a college athlete. I never thought I would get the opportunity to do something like this, but God opened the door and I went through. And I am LOVING it!

My team is amazing. I can't believe how well we all get along, but we really do. Everyone is so supportive of each other and encouraging during practices. I love being able to spend time with them every day. And my coach is awesome. I couldn't ask for a better coach. He's so encouraging and really brings out the best in you. This is the part where I would post a picture of the team, but unfortunately I don't have one of all of us yet.

Our first race wasn't exactly an official race. It was more like a scrimmage. We didn't run a full 5k course. Usually, the girls run 3 miles and the guys run 5 miles. In this case, the girls ran 2 and a half miles and the guys ran 3 miles. It was at Kenyon college and we faced Denison, Ohio Wesleyan, and of course, Kenyon. Our times weren't scored so no one officially won the meet. It was a good way to kick off the season, especially for someone like me who hasn't run a cross country race since my freshman year of high school. It was extremely hot that day and I don't run well in the heat. The course wasn't too bad. I was doing ok as I ran down a hill....and then I went the wrong way. I started around a bend when I heard someone yelling at me. I turned and it was the Kenyon girl who had been behind me, who was now beating me, telling me to come back the other way. I grumbled my frustration and got back on the right part of the course. I wasn't crazy about the time I got, but I was very proud of the fact that I successfully finished my first college race.

Our first invitational was at Ohio Wesleyan. Well, it was hosted by them. The course was at a park. I was really nervous, but after a good talk with my coach (and a little nap) I felt a lot better about the race. The weather was beautiful. Nice and cool, perfect for running. The course had a strange layout. There were a lot of twists and turns and all of us were pretty sure they hadn't measured it out correctly because it felt like we had run more than what we had to. It wasn't my favorite course, but I could tell I was stronger during this race and I felt really good when I finished. Afterwards coach took us to Noodles and Company for lunch (if you've never been there, stop reading this, look up a location near you and go. Now).

I love being part of this team. There will most definitely be more posts to come about my running adventures. Stay tuned!

Questions

Not to sound cliche, but life is full of questions. And a lot of times we don't know the answers. I think most of you know about the awful shootings that happened in Copley last week. I didn't know any of the people, but some of the families of the victims go to my church. On Sunday my pastor was talking about when things like this happen, it brings up so many questions about why did this happen and why did these people have to die and why does God have these situations take place. I loved his honesty when he said, "I have degrees in God and have studied for many years, but I don't know the answers to these questions. I did five funerals this week. It was miserable. I'm exhausted. There are so many questions and things about God that we don't know or understand. But our questions will be answered one day, on the other side of heaven."

This life is hard. There's suffering and tragedy everywhere. But I have to believe that there is a reason to all of this. God is using this for something. I have many questions that I wish I had the answers to. Questions about everything. In 1 Peter, Peter addresses the fact that there will be hard times in our lives, but that God will bring us out of it.

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10

Don't give up hope. We will overcome this. I personally can't wait for the day that I will stand in front of my beautiful Father's throne and it will all make sense. I will finally understand.

What to Say

How do you respond when someone calls Jesus an "extreme left socialist?" This question has been bothering me ever since a guy in my creative writing class said it during fall semester. I don't remember how we got on the topic of God, but it became very clear that I was one of the only people in my class with Christian beliefs(this was when I was still a student at Kent State). As I was listening to him talk, I began to think about what I could say to back up my beliefs. I couldn't think of what to say. I regret not speaking up during that discussion, but it frustrates me that I still don't know what I should have said in that situation.

As a Christian, I've had many experiences where people have criticized and made fun of me because of my faith. A lot of times I would just ignore it, but other times it would hurt. The incident in my creative writing class bothered me, not because my classmates were directly putting me down, but the fact that I stayed silent while I listened to them tear apart my beliefs and values. I didn't know how to respond.

Sharing my faith with someone who's not a believer is something I wouldn't consider myself good at. I can talk about God with my brothers and sisters in Christ for hours on end. When I was younger, my fear was that I would come off as a "Bible thumper" and then the person would be completely turned off by it. I would never shove my beliefs down someone's throat. You can't force people people to believe something.

I want to be able to have a conversation about God without it turning into a debate or argument. As Christians, we're called to bring others to Christ. I want to do that, I just feel like I need to learn some more about evangelism. And if any of you guys come up with a good response to "Jesus is an extreme left socialist," let me know.

Abba

Yesterday I did something that I've been thinking about for 3 years. I got the word abba written in Aramaic tattooed on my wrist.




This word has so much meaning to me. Abba means father, but literally translated, it means daddy. It's also used to describe a very close relationship with God. I first came across it while reading the book of Mark. Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane right before he's arrested.

"Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. Abba, Father, he said, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:35-36

Jesus called God daddy. He's fully God and fully man, but in this passage, he's so human. He was scared because he knew what he was going to do was extremely difficult. He cried out for help. But even in his distress, he left it up to God. He wanted to do His will. I think that this makes Jesus dying for our sin so much more powerful.

I also find great comfort in the fact that I can call God my daddy. Yes, I have my earthly father, but I also have my eternal father. He's always there for me. I can come to Him in my time of need. He will never give up on me. And after everything I've been through this year, I wanted a permanent reminder that I will see every day.

God is my Abba.

This is Why I Don't Interact Well With Small Children

I came back from a trip to Colorado. I had an amazing time hanging out with friends, staring at the mountains, and getting some insane pictures. I didn't even care that I had altitude sickness the whole time. There was one thing I found odd during the trip. There were lots of small children on my flight to Colorado and on my flight back. My flight into Denver left at 6:15, so I had to be there really early. You'd think that these kids would be tired and sleep the whole time. They didn't. Not even close. There was screaming, fighting, crying and kicking of my seat. Thankfully, I just cranked up my ipod and I was the one that slept the whole time.

Then, there was the flight back. First off, our flight got delayed so people were getting impatient. I wasn't stressed, I was just sitting there reading my book. Then, he showed up. He being a little boy around the age of 3 with his mom. His name was Oltaire. Yes. Oltaire. Like Voltaire, only without the V. He was very cute at first. Then, it all went down the drain. It started when he asked his mom if he could go look out the window so he could see the plane. She told he could and he ran over. This is what proceeded.

Oltaire: Look at the plane! There's a horse on it! (Starts banging on the window) PLANE!

Oltaire's Mom (In a very chill voice that makes it sound like she doesn't really care): Oltaire, you need to be quiet. (Goes back to staring off into space)

Oltaire: PLANE! PLAANNNEEE!!! (Says lots of others things that are incomprehensible in a high, screeching voice)

Mom (Still not caring): Oltaire, be quiet.

(Oltaire comes over to his mom and takes his stuffed animal out of his bag and throws it at her)

Mom: No, we don't throw things.

(This continues for about a half hour. Oltaire running back and forth to the window, banging on it, squealing and screeching, all the while his Mom seems not to care at all that this is happening and does very little to restrain him)

Oltaire (getting impatient): I wanna go on the plane!

Mom: Honey, we can't. The crew isn't here yet.

Oltaire: But I wanna!

Mom: You can't.

(Oltaire lets out a blood curdling scream. People are starting to stare. Finally, the crew arrives and we start to board.)

At this point, another mom with her small daughter get to board the plane first because they have priority tickets. Oltaire sees this happen and absolutely loses it. Screaming at the top of his lungs and yelling NO! every time his tries to calm him down. He really wanted to get on the plane.

When we finally took off, it became very clear that Oltaire did not, in fact, want to be on the plane. This was proven by him frequently letting out awful screams during the entire 2 and a half hour flight. There was also a baby that was crying the whole flight. I was towards the back so I couldn't see them, but boy could I hear them. We didn't land until about 1 in the morning. I was so thankful to get off that plane.

That's why I don't interact well with small children.