I sincerely apologize for not writing about this sooner. College is very clingy and wants all of my attention, but we've been having some talks and agreed to give each other some space. I hope that joke makes you smile, otherwise I'll feel weird for writing it. Anyway, I moved into school 2 weeks early for cross country camp and haven't looked back! It's still a little strange for me to think that I'm a college athlete. I never thought I would get the opportunity to do something like this, but God opened the door and I went through. And I am LOVING it!
My team is amazing. I can't believe how well we all get along, but we really do. Everyone is so supportive of each other and encouraging during practices. I love being able to spend time with them every day. And my coach is awesome. I couldn't ask for a better coach. He's so encouraging and really brings out the best in you. This is the part where I would post a picture of the team, but unfortunately I don't have one of all of us yet.
Our first race wasn't exactly an official race. It was more like a scrimmage. We didn't run a full 5k course. Usually, the girls run 3 miles and the guys run 5 miles. In this case, the girls ran 2 and a half miles and the guys ran 3 miles. It was at Kenyon college and we faced Denison, Ohio Wesleyan, and of course, Kenyon. Our times weren't scored so no one officially won the meet. It was a good way to kick off the season, especially for someone like me who hasn't run a cross country race since my freshman year of high school. It was extremely hot that day and I don't run well in the heat. The course wasn't too bad. I was doing ok as I ran down a hill....and then I went the wrong way. I started around a bend when I heard someone yelling at me. I turned and it was the Kenyon girl who had been behind me, who was now beating me, telling me to come back the other way. I grumbled my frustration and got back on the right part of the course. I wasn't crazy about the time I got, but I was very proud of the fact that I successfully finished my first college race.
Our first invitational was at Ohio Wesleyan. Well, it was hosted by them. The course was at a park. I was really nervous, but after a good talk with my coach (and a little nap) I felt a lot better about the race. The weather was beautiful. Nice and cool, perfect for running. The course had a strange layout. There were a lot of twists and turns and all of us were pretty sure they hadn't measured it out correctly because it felt like we had run more than what we had to. It wasn't my favorite course, but I could tell I was stronger during this race and I felt really good when I finished. Afterwards coach took us to Noodles and Company for lunch (if you've never been there, stop reading this, look up a location near you and go. Now).
I love being part of this team. There will most definitely be more posts to come about my running adventures. Stay tuned!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Questions
Not to sound cliche, but life is full of questions. And a lot of times we don't know the answers. I think most of you know about the awful shootings that happened in Copley last week. I didn't know any of the people, but some of the families of the victims go to my church. On Sunday my pastor was talking about when things like this happen, it brings up so many questions about why did this happen and why did these people have to die and why does God have these situations take place. I loved his honesty when he said, "I have degrees in God and have studied for many years, but I don't know the answers to these questions. I did five funerals this week. It was miserable. I'm exhausted. There are so many questions and things about God that we don't know or understand. But our questions will be answered one day, on the other side of heaven."
This life is hard. There's suffering and tragedy everywhere. But I have to believe that there is a reason to all of this. God is using this for something. I have many questions that I wish I had the answers to. Questions about everything. In 1 Peter, Peter addresses the fact that there will be hard times in our lives, but that God will bring us out of it.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10
Don't give up hope. We will overcome this. I personally can't wait for the day that I will stand in front of my beautiful Father's throne and it will all make sense. I will finally understand.
This life is hard. There's suffering and tragedy everywhere. But I have to believe that there is a reason to all of this. God is using this for something. I have many questions that I wish I had the answers to. Questions about everything. In 1 Peter, Peter addresses the fact that there will be hard times in our lives, but that God will bring us out of it.
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." 1 Peter 5:10
Don't give up hope. We will overcome this. I personally can't wait for the day that I will stand in front of my beautiful Father's throne and it will all make sense. I will finally understand.
Monday, August 8, 2011
What to Say
How do you respond when someone calls Jesus an "extreme left socialist?" This question has been bothering me ever since a guy in my creative writing class said it during fall semester. I don't remember how we got on the topic of God, but it became very clear that I was one of the only people in my class with Christian beliefs(this was when I was still a student at Kent State). As I was listening to him talk, I began to think about what I could say to back up my beliefs. I couldn't think of what to say. I regret not speaking up during that discussion, but it frustrates me that I still don't know what I should have said in that situation.
As a Christian, I've had many experiences where people have criticized and made fun of me because of my faith. A lot of times I would just ignore it, but other times it would hurt. The incident in my creative writing class bothered me, not because my classmates were directly putting me down, but the fact that I stayed silent while I listened to them tear apart my beliefs and values. I didn't know how to respond.
Sharing my faith with someone who's not a believer is something I wouldn't consider myself good at. I can talk about God with my brothers and sisters in Christ for hours on end. When I was younger, my fear was that I would come off as a "Bible thumper" and then the person would be completely turned off by it. I would never shove my beliefs down someone's throat. You can't force people people to believe something.
I want to be able to have a conversation about God without it turning into a debate or argument. As Christians, we're called to bring others to Christ. I want to do that, I just feel like I need to learn some more about evangelism. And if any of you guys come up with a good response to "Jesus is an extreme left socialist," let me know.
As a Christian, I've had many experiences where people have criticized and made fun of me because of my faith. A lot of times I would just ignore it, but other times it would hurt. The incident in my creative writing class bothered me, not because my classmates were directly putting me down, but the fact that I stayed silent while I listened to them tear apart my beliefs and values. I didn't know how to respond.
Sharing my faith with someone who's not a believer is something I wouldn't consider myself good at. I can talk about God with my brothers and sisters in Christ for hours on end. When I was younger, my fear was that I would come off as a "Bible thumper" and then the person would be completely turned off by it. I would never shove my beliefs down someone's throat. You can't force people people to believe something.
I want to be able to have a conversation about God without it turning into a debate or argument. As Christians, we're called to bring others to Christ. I want to do that, I just feel like I need to learn some more about evangelism. And if any of you guys come up with a good response to "Jesus is an extreme left socialist," let me know.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Abba
Yesterday I did something that I've been thinking about for 3 years. I got the word abba written in Aramaic tattooed on my wrist.
This word has so much meaning to me. Abba means father, but literally translated, it means daddy. It's also used to describe a very close relationship with God. I first came across it while reading the book of Mark. Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane right before he's arrested.
"Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. Abba, Father, he said, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:35-36
Jesus called God daddy. He's fully God and fully man, but in this passage, he's so human. He was scared because he knew what he was going to do was extremely difficult. He cried out for help. But even in his distress, he left it up to God. He wanted to do His will. I think that this makes Jesus dying for our sin so much more powerful.
I also find great comfort in the fact that I can call God my daddy. Yes, I have my earthly father, but I also have my eternal father. He's always there for me. I can come to Him in my time of need. He will never give up on me. And after everything I've been through this year, I wanted a permanent reminder that I will see every day.
God is my Abba.
This word has so much meaning to me. Abba means father, but literally translated, it means daddy. It's also used to describe a very close relationship with God. I first came across it while reading the book of Mark. Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane right before he's arrested.
"Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. Abba, Father, he said, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:35-36
Jesus called God daddy. He's fully God and fully man, but in this passage, he's so human. He was scared because he knew what he was going to do was extremely difficult. He cried out for help. But even in his distress, he left it up to God. He wanted to do His will. I think that this makes Jesus dying for our sin so much more powerful.
I also find great comfort in the fact that I can call God my daddy. Yes, I have my earthly father, but I also have my eternal father. He's always there for me. I can come to Him in my time of need. He will never give up on me. And after everything I've been through this year, I wanted a permanent reminder that I will see every day.
God is my Abba.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
This is Why I Don't Interact Well With Small Children
I came back from a trip to Colorado. I had an amazing time hanging out with friends, staring at the mountains, and getting some insane pictures. I didn't even care that I had altitude sickness the whole time. There was one thing I found odd during the trip. There were lots of small children on my flight to Colorado and on my flight back. My flight into Denver left at 6:15, so I had to be there really early. You'd think that these kids would be tired and sleep the whole time. They didn't. Not even close. There was screaming, fighting, crying and kicking of my seat. Thankfully, I just cranked up my ipod and I was the one that slept the whole time.
Then, there was the flight back. First off, our flight got delayed so people were getting impatient. I wasn't stressed, I was just sitting there reading my book. Then, he showed up. He being a little boy around the age of 3 with his mom. His name was Oltaire. Yes. Oltaire. Like Voltaire, only without the V. He was very cute at first. Then, it all went down the drain. It started when he asked his mom if he could go look out the window so he could see the plane. She told he could and he ran over. This is what proceeded.
Oltaire: Look at the plane! There's a horse on it! (Starts banging on the window) PLANE!
Oltaire's Mom (In a very chill voice that makes it sound like she doesn't really care): Oltaire, you need to be quiet. (Goes back to staring off into space)
Oltaire: PLANE! PLAANNNEEE!!! (Says lots of others things that are incomprehensible in a high, screeching voice)
Mom (Still not caring): Oltaire, be quiet.
(Oltaire comes over to his mom and takes his stuffed animal out of his bag and throws it at her)
Mom: No, we don't throw things.
(This continues for about a half hour. Oltaire running back and forth to the window, banging on it, squealing and screeching, all the while his Mom seems not to care at all that this is happening and does very little to restrain him)
Oltaire (getting impatient): I wanna go on the plane!
Mom: Honey, we can't. The crew isn't here yet.
Oltaire: But I wanna!
Mom: You can't.
(Oltaire lets out a blood curdling scream. People are starting to stare. Finally, the crew arrives and we start to board.)
At this point, another mom with her small daughter get to board the plane first because they have priority tickets. Oltaire sees this happen and absolutely loses it. Screaming at the top of his lungs and yelling NO! every time his tries to calm him down. He really wanted to get on the plane.
When we finally took off, it became very clear that Oltaire did not, in fact, want to be on the plane. This was proven by him frequently letting out awful screams during the entire 2 and a half hour flight. There was also a baby that was crying the whole flight. I was towards the back so I couldn't see them, but boy could I hear them. We didn't land until about 1 in the morning. I was so thankful to get off that plane.
That's why I don't interact well with small children.
Then, there was the flight back. First off, our flight got delayed so people were getting impatient. I wasn't stressed, I was just sitting there reading my book. Then, he showed up. He being a little boy around the age of 3 with his mom. His name was Oltaire. Yes. Oltaire. Like Voltaire, only without the V. He was very cute at first. Then, it all went down the drain. It started when he asked his mom if he could go look out the window so he could see the plane. She told he could and he ran over. This is what proceeded.
Oltaire: Look at the plane! There's a horse on it! (Starts banging on the window) PLANE!
Oltaire's Mom (In a very chill voice that makes it sound like she doesn't really care): Oltaire, you need to be quiet. (Goes back to staring off into space)
Oltaire: PLANE! PLAANNNEEE!!! (Says lots of others things that are incomprehensible in a high, screeching voice)
Mom (Still not caring): Oltaire, be quiet.
(Oltaire comes over to his mom and takes his stuffed animal out of his bag and throws it at her)
Mom: No, we don't throw things.
(This continues for about a half hour. Oltaire running back and forth to the window, banging on it, squealing and screeching, all the while his Mom seems not to care at all that this is happening and does very little to restrain him)
Oltaire (getting impatient): I wanna go on the plane!
Mom: Honey, we can't. The crew isn't here yet.
Oltaire: But I wanna!
Mom: You can't.
(Oltaire lets out a blood curdling scream. People are starting to stare. Finally, the crew arrives and we start to board.)
At this point, another mom with her small daughter get to board the plane first because they have priority tickets. Oltaire sees this happen and absolutely loses it. Screaming at the top of his lungs and yelling NO! every time his tries to calm him down. He really wanted to get on the plane.
When we finally took off, it became very clear that Oltaire did not, in fact, want to be on the plane. This was proven by him frequently letting out awful screams during the entire 2 and a half hour flight. There was also a baby that was crying the whole flight. I was towards the back so I couldn't see them, but boy could I hear them. We didn't land until about 1 in the morning. I was so thankful to get off that plane.
That's why I don't interact well with small children.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Sovereignty
I hurt myself running last week. My heel had been hurting for about 2 weeks and at first, I thought it was just muscle soreness and tightness. But it didn't get better even though I was stretching and putting ice on it regularly. Last Monday I went on my daily run and I had to stop halfway through because my heel was hurting so much. I got home and it was completely swollen and starting to bruise. Trip to the sports medicine specialist and lo and behold, I have Achilles tendinitis. No running for 6 weeks. Not going to lie, not running is driving me a little nuts. But the important thing is that I'm starting to heal.
Now, why did I choose to start off this post with that? Well, since I'm not able to run right now, I feel like part of my day is missing. Even though my heel hurts, this incident is actually kind of a blessing. I've been having trouble finding time during the day to spend time with God. Slowing down has helped me find that time and I can focus on God.
When we think about God, words like loving and kind come to mind. What about sovereign? That's not a word you hear people use to describe God that often. Sovereignty, in basic terms, is God's total authority and control over all things. The biggest thing that keeps us from recognizing God's sovereignty is our pride. We don't like to think we don't have control.
My pastor used Daniel chapter 4 as an example of how pride causes us to lose sight of God's sovereignty. This chapter deals with King Nebuchadnezzar. This guy had some major pride issues. Ruler of Babylon, he was extremely wealthy, had a huge palace, and at that point in history, he had world dominance. Not to mention that it was during his rule that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were built.
Then one night, King "Nezzar" had a dream, and this dream freaked him out. He dreamt that there was a huge tree that covered the entire earth. All the animals were fed from the tree and it was abundant. But then, the tree was chopped down and just the stump and roots were left. The animals ran away, and suddenly a messenger from heaven starting talking about the tree like it was a man, saying that he was going to live like an animal and think like an animal for 7 years. Yeah, if I had that dream, I might be a little freaked out too.
Daniel interpreted the dream for Nezzar. He told him that the tree was really him. His power was going to be taken from him and he would be driven away from the kingdom. He was going to live and act like an animal for 7 years until "You acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdom of men and gives them to anyone he wishes."
You can guess what happened after this. Nebuchadnezzar's problem was that he thought he had the power. He was so proud of "everything he had done," that he forgot about God. He was taking credit for what God did. It was God who created him and gave him the family he was born into. It was God who gave him the opportunities that got him to this point. And it was God who took away his sanity until he finally got the picture.
How often do you take credit for what God has done in your life? We're all guilty of it. When I thought about this, I took a moment to thank God and praise him for everything he's done for me.
Lord, thank you for creating me and giving me a wonderful family that raised me to love you. Thank you for all of the experiences and opportunities that shaped me and continue to shape me into the person you want me to be. I don't understand everything in my life, but I know that you have control over all things and I am dependent on you. And that gives me peace. All the glory goes to you.
Now, why did I choose to start off this post with that? Well, since I'm not able to run right now, I feel like part of my day is missing. Even though my heel hurts, this incident is actually kind of a blessing. I've been having trouble finding time during the day to spend time with God. Slowing down has helped me find that time and I can focus on God.
When we think about God, words like loving and kind come to mind. What about sovereign? That's not a word you hear people use to describe God that often. Sovereignty, in basic terms, is God's total authority and control over all things. The biggest thing that keeps us from recognizing God's sovereignty is our pride. We don't like to think we don't have control.
My pastor used Daniel chapter 4 as an example of how pride causes us to lose sight of God's sovereignty. This chapter deals with King Nebuchadnezzar. This guy had some major pride issues. Ruler of Babylon, he was extremely wealthy, had a huge palace, and at that point in history, he had world dominance. Not to mention that it was during his rule that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were built.
Then one night, King "Nezzar" had a dream, and this dream freaked him out. He dreamt that there was a huge tree that covered the entire earth. All the animals were fed from the tree and it was abundant. But then, the tree was chopped down and just the stump and roots were left. The animals ran away, and suddenly a messenger from heaven starting talking about the tree like it was a man, saying that he was going to live like an animal and think like an animal for 7 years. Yeah, if I had that dream, I might be a little freaked out too.
Daniel interpreted the dream for Nezzar. He told him that the tree was really him. His power was going to be taken from him and he would be driven away from the kingdom. He was going to live and act like an animal for 7 years until "You acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdom of men and gives them to anyone he wishes."
You can guess what happened after this. Nebuchadnezzar's problem was that he thought he had the power. He was so proud of "everything he had done," that he forgot about God. He was taking credit for what God did. It was God who created him and gave him the family he was born into. It was God who gave him the opportunities that got him to this point. And it was God who took away his sanity until he finally got the picture.
How often do you take credit for what God has done in your life? We're all guilty of it. When I thought about this, I took a moment to thank God and praise him for everything he's done for me.
Lord, thank you for creating me and giving me a wonderful family that raised me to love you. Thank you for all of the experiences and opportunities that shaped me and continue to shape me into the person you want me to be. I don't understand everything in my life, but I know that you have control over all things and I am dependent on you. And that gives me peace. All the glory goes to you.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
C.S Lewis Is A Genius
I am a huge fan of C.S. Lewis. God gave that man an incredible gift of insight and writing ability. I have a book that has certain passages from his books and I read one the other day that really struck a chord with me. It was so simple and profound.
"Christ says Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked-the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own shall become yours."
Following Christ is not something you do halfway. It is everything. It's gathering all of your desires, dreams, mistakes, regrets, actions, thoughts, all of it, and standing before Jesus and saying, "Here, you take them."
It's simple and hard at the same time. I don't know everything that God has planned for me, but I'm putting my trust in the fact that he's not going to give me anything I can't handle. I am in his hands and that's all I need.
"Christ says Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked-the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own shall become yours."
Following Christ is not something you do halfway. It is everything. It's gathering all of your desires, dreams, mistakes, regrets, actions, thoughts, all of it, and standing before Jesus and saying, "Here, you take them."
It's simple and hard at the same time. I don't know everything that God has planned for me, but I'm putting my trust in the fact that he's not going to give me anything I can't handle. I am in his hands and that's all I need.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Run Forrest Run
If you had told me a year ago that I was going to start running again, I would have laughed. But lo and behold, I am a runner. And I love it. I went from running 3 times a week over the summer to build up to 3 miles, to running with the Kent State Running Club, to running on a regular basis at Mount Vernon, running a half marathon (which I still can't believe I did), and now I'm a member of Mount Vernon Nazarene University's cross country team. Crazy.
If you're looking to start a running program, begin slowly. Don't just go out and try to run a 5k right off the bat. Work your way up. Most running programs have you running for a few minutes and then walking for a few minutes until you work up to running 30 minutes straight. Once you hit that, you can slowly start to increase it. I think the program I used was called Couch Potato to 5k, but you can find other programs online. If you're training for a half marathon like I did, make sure you get in some good mileage. It's important to incorporate long runs into your training at least twice a week. I usually do anywhere from 7 all the way up to 10 miles. Go at a pace that feels good and don't try to race it.
Rule 1: Stretch! I cannot stress this enough, especially if you don't have good flexibility, like me. I can't even touch my toes. I know, it's a little sad. Some people say you should stretch before and after you run, others say stretch after. I stretch after I run. It helps keep my muscles loose and it helps with soreness. It's really important after long runs.
Rule 2: HYDRATE. If you read my post about the incident on the side of the highway, you'll understand the importance of hydration. If you're preparing for a race, make sure you hydrate well the day before. Don't drink a ton of water right before you run. It will slow you down and it probably won't feel very good on your stomach. And whatever you do, do not have any dairy before you run! However, chocolate milk is one of the best things to drink after you run. It helps with muscle recovery and hey, it's delicious. One of my favorite beverages.
Rule 3: Food. There's a joke among runners that we can eat whatever we want because we'll burn it all off on our next run. Which, not going to lie, it is kind of true. I eat pretty healthy, but I do love a good burger. Although I stay away from fast food as much as possible. I'm proud to say I haven't set foot in a McDonald's in 5 years. One thing that I absolutely love (and I have a theory that this is common among runners) is ice cream. When I was at school I would eat ice cream every day. And yes, I love pasta. Carbs are a runner's best friend.
It's not uncommon for runners to have stomach issues sometimes. It doesn't happen to everyone, but unfortunately, it happens to me. If you find you are having problems, start taking a daily fiber supplement. I drink Metamucil every day. Yes, it's a weird texture and it doesn't taste that great and if you don't drink it fast enough it gets thick and gritty. But I haven't had any stomach problems since I started taking it. It actually works! So I chug it down and go on with the rest of my day.
I hope you found this interesting even if you aren't a runner. Don't be surprised if you read a post in the future about some of my cross country adventures. Until then, lace up your shoes and happy running!
If you're looking to start a running program, begin slowly. Don't just go out and try to run a 5k right off the bat. Work your way up. Most running programs have you running for a few minutes and then walking for a few minutes until you work up to running 30 minutes straight. Once you hit that, you can slowly start to increase it. I think the program I used was called Couch Potato to 5k, but you can find other programs online. If you're training for a half marathon like I did, make sure you get in some good mileage. It's important to incorporate long runs into your training at least twice a week. I usually do anywhere from 7 all the way up to 10 miles. Go at a pace that feels good and don't try to race it.
Rule 1: Stretch! I cannot stress this enough, especially if you don't have good flexibility, like me. I can't even touch my toes. I know, it's a little sad. Some people say you should stretch before and after you run, others say stretch after. I stretch after I run. It helps keep my muscles loose and it helps with soreness. It's really important after long runs.
Rule 2: HYDRATE. If you read my post about the incident on the side of the highway, you'll understand the importance of hydration. If you're preparing for a race, make sure you hydrate well the day before. Don't drink a ton of water right before you run. It will slow you down and it probably won't feel very good on your stomach. And whatever you do, do not have any dairy before you run! However, chocolate milk is one of the best things to drink after you run. It helps with muscle recovery and hey, it's delicious. One of my favorite beverages.
Rule 3: Food. There's a joke among runners that we can eat whatever we want because we'll burn it all off on our next run. Which, not going to lie, it is kind of true. I eat pretty healthy, but I do love a good burger. Although I stay away from fast food as much as possible. I'm proud to say I haven't set foot in a McDonald's in 5 years. One thing that I absolutely love (and I have a theory that this is common among runners) is ice cream. When I was at school I would eat ice cream every day. And yes, I love pasta. Carbs are a runner's best friend.
It's not uncommon for runners to have stomach issues sometimes. It doesn't happen to everyone, but unfortunately, it happens to me. If you find you are having problems, start taking a daily fiber supplement. I drink Metamucil every day. Yes, it's a weird texture and it doesn't taste that great and if you don't drink it fast enough it gets thick and gritty. But I haven't had any stomach problems since I started taking it. It actually works! So I chug it down and go on with the rest of my day.
I hope you found this interesting even if you aren't a runner. Don't be surprised if you read a post in the future about some of my cross country adventures. Until then, lace up your shoes and happy running!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
My Extended Family
When I stop to think about it, I have a huge family. I'm not talking about just my actual family, I mean my family of fellow believers. I heard the phrase brother or sister in Christ for the first time when I started my freshman year of college. At first, I didn't quite understand what it meant. But now I love it. As Christians, we are a giant family. I've been connected with so many people through my faith. It's more than just beliefs to me. It's how I live my life, and I'm so grateful and proud to have others around me that share in this.
When I call someone my brother or sister in Christ, I mean it. We share something much greater than a friendship. And I have brothers and sisters everywhere. Even around the world! How incredible is that? Some of them I haven't seen in a long time, others I talk to on a regular basis. We are a group of amazing, messed up, quirky, wonderful people. We all have different stories and talents. And we using them in some awesome ways.
When I was a part of h2o at Kent, I had the opportunity to spend my summer in Estes Park, Colorado at Leadership Training. I was all signed up and ready to go once school let out, but due to certain circumstances, I wasn't able to go. I was so disappointed and upset as I realized I wouldn't be with my h2o family in the mountains, meeting new people, having the experiences that they were going to have. I'll be honest, I still feel a twinge of sadness when I see pictures on Facebook or hear how they're doing. I really wish I could have gone.
Even though I miss them (a lot), I'm so happy for them and how God is working through and in them this summer. I know He's doing big things there. And I'm going to fly out and visit! I'm so grateful that God has provided a way for me to do that. So stay tuned, LT peeps! I'll let you know when I'm coming!
When I call someone my brother or sister in Christ, I mean it. We share something much greater than a friendship. And I have brothers and sisters everywhere. Even around the world! How incredible is that? Some of them I haven't seen in a long time, others I talk to on a regular basis. We are a group of amazing, messed up, quirky, wonderful people. We all have different stories and talents. And we using them in some awesome ways.
When I was a part of h2o at Kent, I had the opportunity to spend my summer in Estes Park, Colorado at Leadership Training. I was all signed up and ready to go once school let out, but due to certain circumstances, I wasn't able to go. I was so disappointed and upset as I realized I wouldn't be with my h2o family in the mountains, meeting new people, having the experiences that they were going to have. I'll be honest, I still feel a twinge of sadness when I see pictures on Facebook or hear how they're doing. I really wish I could have gone.
Even though I miss them (a lot), I'm so happy for them and how God is working through and in them this summer. I know He's doing big things there. And I'm going to fly out and visit! I'm so grateful that God has provided a way for me to do that. So stay tuned, LT peeps! I'll let you know when I'm coming!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Childhood
A few days ago my mom broke out the home movies. I've come to the realization that I was an odd little kid. And, after hearing stories from other family members, this trend continues to grow. Apparently, I was always missing as a child. I had a tendency to wander off from my sisters and parents. They would find me off in a corner playing or behind a bush, completely oblivious to my surroundings. I almost gave my mom a heart attack when I wandered off at an amusement park when I was 4. I didn't even realize I was lost. I was just off in my own little world. We were at the pool and my family was on one side. I, for whatever reason, became very interested in something and walked to the other side of the pool. When my mom looked up, I was nowhere to be found. My mom being the awesome person she is, immediately set out to find me. Halfway across the pool, she came upon a lady leading me back to my family by the hand. She was staying at the same hotel as us and recognized me.
Another incident happened at an indoor playground (apparently those exist). My family was getting ready to leave and, not surprisingly, they couldn't find me. After some searching, I was found-under a bench. Why was I under a bench? What was so interesting that I had to go underneath the bench? My child mind was fascinated by weird things.
Thankfully, I've grown out of this phase. I can still be a little oblivious sometimes, but I'm proud to say that I haven't gotten lost.
Another incident happened at an indoor playground (apparently those exist). My family was getting ready to leave and, not surprisingly, they couldn't find me. After some searching, I was found-under a bench. Why was I under a bench? What was so interesting that I had to go underneath the bench? My child mind was fascinated by weird things.
Thankfully, I've grown out of this phase. I can still be a little oblivious sometimes, but I'm proud to say that I haven't gotten lost.
Monday, June 13, 2011
New Things
I realize that there was a big gap between posts recently. I didn't want to post this one right away. I felt like my previous post was a better starting point. I know I've talked before about how many changes have happened to me this past year. The semester that recently ended was very difficult for me. This has been a very hard year, and I just got to a point where I couldn't write anymore. I was very stressed and tired and I didn't have any inspiration. But that's not the reason I'm writing this post.
I've turned a corner now. I'm getting back on track, and I've decided to make a few changes. Mainly, the way I write my blog. The format is going to change a bit. I'm still going to write about my faith and relationship with God, but there will be other subjects as well. Stories from my life, both new and old. I might post a quote from someone I admire and write about it. Some posts will be humorous, others more serious. Whatever comes to mind, I hope to make it the best writing I can for you readers. Writing is hopefully going to be my career one day, after all.
Stay tuned for the new chapter of The Great Awakening!
I've turned a corner now. I'm getting back on track, and I've decided to make a few changes. Mainly, the way I write my blog. The format is going to change a bit. I'm still going to write about my faith and relationship with God, but there will be other subjects as well. Stories from my life, both new and old. I might post a quote from someone I admire and write about it. Some posts will be humorous, others more serious. Whatever comes to mind, I hope to make it the best writing I can for you readers. Writing is hopefully going to be my career one day, after all.
Stay tuned for the new chapter of The Great Awakening!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A Rather Gross But Amusing Story
I threw up on the side of the highway.
It's not one of my proudest moments. I can't even remember the last time I threw up. Let me paint you a picture of the events leading up to this incident.
I went down to Mount Vernon to help my cross country coach with the BLAST 5k race. If you don't know what BLAST is, basically a bunch of Nazarene churches get together on Mount Vernon's campus for a few days and have lots of activities. Me and several of my teammates set up the course Thursday night and the race was on Friday morning. We all had breakfast on Friday in the cafeteria. We still had some time to kill before the race started so my teammate Caitlin asked if I wanted to go running with her. We weren't running in the 5k because we were helping direct people out on the course. Having just eaten cereal and a banana, I was a little unsure of my stomach's ability. Plus, our training schedule had us running 5 miles that day, but I decided it would be good to get my run out of the way then so I wouldn't have to run when I got home later.
We ran behind campus through this really cool neighborhood with interesting houses and green fields and the birds were singing and there were buzzards. Everywhere. But it was a really good run. Surprisingly I felt fine during the run. We ran back to campus and literally came to a stop at the Eternal Flame, which was where Coach had all the runners meet before the race started. Everyone was already gathered. Having no time to grab a water (I didn't have my wallet and I lost my meal ticket after breakfast) I joined the rest of my teammates. "I'm feeling really good. I'll just get something after the race." I thought to myself. This would prove to be a bad decision.
Coach gave me a map and pointed to where he wanted me stationed during the race. I walked down to my post and waited for the runners to come my way. At this point, it started raining. It wasn't much at first, but then it picked up. When you're sweaty from running 5 miles and then you have to stand in the rain for a half hour with no form of jacket or water repelling device, you get cold and wet really fast. As the final runners passed me, I started making my way back to the Eternal Flame, still feeling pretty good.
We all ducked into the lobby of the Hyson building and Coach gave us a debrief. Then we had to go pick up all the flags we had used to mark the course. In the now pouring rain. We decided it would be best for all of us to split off and tackle different sections of the the course. Caitlin and I took the back portion while the guys took the front. We basically ran the whole way while bending down every few feet to pick up flags to get done faster. So at this point I am sweaty, soaking wet, and starting to get hungry and thirsty.
After we took the flags to Coach's office, Caitlin and I walked to her apartment where my mom picked me up. I got a water bottle, changed into a dry shirt and got in the car. This is where another bad decision happened. I chugged half of my water bottle. I live about and hour and a half away from Mount Vernon, so it was a bit of a drive. I took my blanket out of my bag and leaned back in my chair to try and take a nap. This is the part where I started to feel weird, but I figured I was just tired and would feel better after some rest. I think I dozed off for about a half hour. The next scene would be best described through script form.
Kathleen (suddenly sits up in her chair, wide-eyed): Mom, I might throw up.
Mom (looks over with alarm): Ok. Do you need me to pull over?
Kathleen (with urgency, knowing something very bad is about to happen): Yes.
Mom: Ok. Hang on honey.
(Mom pulls over onto the side of the highway)
Kathleen (while opening the car door): Just give me a minute.
(Kathleen stumbles out of the car gagging into the grass. Hands on her knees, she tries to steady herself. Mom proceeds to watch as her daughter tosses her cookies while the wind blows and the rain hits her like needles. Waddling back to the car all hunched over, Mom hands Kathleen a tissue and wraps her in her blanket. Kathleen is shivering and is obviously uncomfortable.)
Kathleen: I don't feel good.
The rest of the car ride consisted of me sitting completely straight in my seat, desperately trying to get my mind off of what just happened and trying not to let it happen again. The last 15 minutes were torture. It felt we were never going to get home.
We finally pulled into the driveway. I took a shower, collapsed onto the couch, and fell asleep for 3 hours.
My sister had a very good explanation as to why this incident happened. "You didn't drink enough water. So when you did drink some, your stomach was all, Water?! What's this? REJECT!!!"
So, what have we learned from this? If you're a runner, make sure you hydrate IMMEDIATELY after running. You should also probably try and eat something as well. Please learn from my mistake.
And that's how I threw up on the side of I-71.
It's not one of my proudest moments. I can't even remember the last time I threw up. Let me paint you a picture of the events leading up to this incident.
I went down to Mount Vernon to help my cross country coach with the BLAST 5k race. If you don't know what BLAST is, basically a bunch of Nazarene churches get together on Mount Vernon's campus for a few days and have lots of activities. Me and several of my teammates set up the course Thursday night and the race was on Friday morning. We all had breakfast on Friday in the cafeteria. We still had some time to kill before the race started so my teammate Caitlin asked if I wanted to go running with her. We weren't running in the 5k because we were helping direct people out on the course. Having just eaten cereal and a banana, I was a little unsure of my stomach's ability. Plus, our training schedule had us running 5 miles that day, but I decided it would be good to get my run out of the way then so I wouldn't have to run when I got home later.
We ran behind campus through this really cool neighborhood with interesting houses and green fields and the birds were singing and there were buzzards. Everywhere. But it was a really good run. Surprisingly I felt fine during the run. We ran back to campus and literally came to a stop at the Eternal Flame, which was where Coach had all the runners meet before the race started. Everyone was already gathered. Having no time to grab a water (I didn't have my wallet and I lost my meal ticket after breakfast) I joined the rest of my teammates. "I'm feeling really good. I'll just get something after the race." I thought to myself. This would prove to be a bad decision.
Coach gave me a map and pointed to where he wanted me stationed during the race. I walked down to my post and waited for the runners to come my way. At this point, it started raining. It wasn't much at first, but then it picked up. When you're sweaty from running 5 miles and then you have to stand in the rain for a half hour with no form of jacket or water repelling device, you get cold and wet really fast. As the final runners passed me, I started making my way back to the Eternal Flame, still feeling pretty good.
We all ducked into the lobby of the Hyson building and Coach gave us a debrief. Then we had to go pick up all the flags we had used to mark the course. In the now pouring rain. We decided it would be best for all of us to split off and tackle different sections of the the course. Caitlin and I took the back portion while the guys took the front. We basically ran the whole way while bending down every few feet to pick up flags to get done faster. So at this point I am sweaty, soaking wet, and starting to get hungry and thirsty.
After we took the flags to Coach's office, Caitlin and I walked to her apartment where my mom picked me up. I got a water bottle, changed into a dry shirt and got in the car. This is where another bad decision happened. I chugged half of my water bottle. I live about and hour and a half away from Mount Vernon, so it was a bit of a drive. I took my blanket out of my bag and leaned back in my chair to try and take a nap. This is the part where I started to feel weird, but I figured I was just tired and would feel better after some rest. I think I dozed off for about a half hour. The next scene would be best described through script form.
Kathleen (suddenly sits up in her chair, wide-eyed): Mom, I might throw up.
Mom (looks over with alarm): Ok. Do you need me to pull over?
Kathleen (with urgency, knowing something very bad is about to happen): Yes.
Mom: Ok. Hang on honey.
(Mom pulls over onto the side of the highway)
Kathleen (while opening the car door): Just give me a minute.
(Kathleen stumbles out of the car gagging into the grass. Hands on her knees, she tries to steady herself. Mom proceeds to watch as her daughter tosses her cookies while the wind blows and the rain hits her like needles. Waddling back to the car all hunched over, Mom hands Kathleen a tissue and wraps her in her blanket. Kathleen is shivering and is obviously uncomfortable.)
Kathleen: I don't feel good.
The rest of the car ride consisted of me sitting completely straight in my seat, desperately trying to get my mind off of what just happened and trying not to let it happen again. The last 15 minutes were torture. It felt we were never going to get home.
We finally pulled into the driveway. I took a shower, collapsed onto the couch, and fell asleep for 3 hours.
My sister had a very good explanation as to why this incident happened. "You didn't drink enough water. So when you did drink some, your stomach was all, Water?! What's this? REJECT!!!"
So, what have we learned from this? If you're a runner, make sure you hydrate IMMEDIATELY after running. You should also probably try and eat something as well. Please learn from my mistake.
And that's how I threw up on the side of I-71.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Love (and Easter)
This week marks the beginning of holy week at Mount Vernon. So, obviously the chapel services are about the events leading up to Christ's death and resurrection. Today when I walked in to the sanctuary, I noticed there were bowls and towels lining the steps of the stage. The passage about Jesus washing the disciple's feet was read, and our chaplain explained that Jesus did this as an expression of love toward His disciples. In our society, our feet are usually covered by socks and shoes most of the time. But our chaplain went on to say while our feet are covered, our hands are exposed all the time. They can get very dirty sometimes. As we had worship time, he extended the invitation to us to come down to the altar and take a towel, dip it in the water, and wash some one's hands; to do it to show our love for them. I liked how he talked about our hands instead of our feet (but I also think it was because he knew a lot of students probably didn't want to touch other people's feet).
As the band started to play, people started getting up and going down to either take communion or pray or wash hands. I was sitting at my seat, just observing. I wanted to wash my friends' hands, but for some reason I was hesitant. I didn't want it to be awkward and I wasn't sure if I should. I didn't know if they would be comfortable with it. As I thought about it more, I realized something. When Jesus washed the disciple's feet, He didn't think about if what He was doing was right or appropriate, or what they would think of Him. He just did it. He did it to show His love for them. So I got up, took communion, picked up a towel and dipped it in water. I walked back over to where we were sitting. I didn't really say anything to my friends, but there wasn't anything that needed to be said looking back on it. Our faces said it. As I looked at each of my friends, their expressions told me. They understood. I just took each of their hands and washed them. It was one of the coolest experiences I've had in chapel. I wanted my friends to know that I love them. They are my sisters in Christ. My wonderful, crazy, supportive, hilarious, beautiful sisters in Christ. As I was walking out of the isle, my friend Alex took the towel from me and washed my hands. There is nothing more beautiful and touching to me than seeing the love of Christ being lived out. I saw His love today.
As the band started to play, people started getting up and going down to either take communion or pray or wash hands. I was sitting at my seat, just observing. I wanted to wash my friends' hands, but for some reason I was hesitant. I didn't want it to be awkward and I wasn't sure if I should. I didn't know if they would be comfortable with it. As I thought about it more, I realized something. When Jesus washed the disciple's feet, He didn't think about if what He was doing was right or appropriate, or what they would think of Him. He just did it. He did it to show His love for them. So I got up, took communion, picked up a towel and dipped it in water. I walked back over to where we were sitting. I didn't really say anything to my friends, but there wasn't anything that needed to be said looking back on it. Our faces said it. As I looked at each of my friends, their expressions told me. They understood. I just took each of their hands and washed them. It was one of the coolest experiences I've had in chapel. I wanted my friends to know that I love them. They are my sisters in Christ. My wonderful, crazy, supportive, hilarious, beautiful sisters in Christ. As I was walking out of the isle, my friend Alex took the towel from me and washed my hands. There is nothing more beautiful and touching to me than seeing the love of Christ being lived out. I saw His love today.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Care
I am a very caring person. If I were an animal, I would be the tail-wagging, sit next to you on the couch, loving persona that is a golden retriever. Or a Black Lab. Just think of Dug from Up ( I have just met you and I love you), and that's me. I have a big heart for people. That being said, when I care about someone or something, I give my heart fully to them. I'm completely invested. While this is good, I've learned that it's also risky. By giving that person my heart, I open the potential for it to be broken, for my love and care not to be accepted, and handed back, or for the feeling not to reciprocated. It makes me vulnerable. I can tell you from experience, it's really hard. It's the ones who care the most that get hurt. As much as I would like to say this isn't true, a lot of times, it is.
Some would say that I "care too much." Another characteristic of being like a golden retriever is that I don't cope with change well. I've talked about this in some of my previous posts. This comes into play especially when someone in my life that I care about leaves. I'll be honest, this is something that I'm having to deal with right now, and I'm having a hard time with it. Part of me doesn't understand why I'm having to go through this situation again. I know that God is trying to teach me something through this, I just don't know what that is exactly. I got to a point where I was frustrated and tired. I remember thinking, "This whole year has been full of changes, and I'm sick of it. I want something to stay constant in my life for once. I'm tired of people coming into my life and then leaving. Why can't things just stay the same?"
A dear friend of mine told me something this week. I didn't really react to it the first time she said it, but today it clicked. She said that I desperately want something constant in my life that never changes. I want someone that will stay and tell me it's going to be ok. I'm not alone. Honestly, I felt kind of dumb for not seeing it sooner, but that's my human nature getting in the way. It's God. He is always here, always, constant, always loving. His love never fails. He's with me all the time. That is the constant I need to hold on to. And I'm not letting go.
Some would say that I "care too much." Another characteristic of being like a golden retriever is that I don't cope with change well. I've talked about this in some of my previous posts. This comes into play especially when someone in my life that I care about leaves. I'll be honest, this is something that I'm having to deal with right now, and I'm having a hard time with it. Part of me doesn't understand why I'm having to go through this situation again. I know that God is trying to teach me something through this, I just don't know what that is exactly. I got to a point where I was frustrated and tired. I remember thinking, "This whole year has been full of changes, and I'm sick of it. I want something to stay constant in my life for once. I'm tired of people coming into my life and then leaving. Why can't things just stay the same?"
A dear friend of mine told me something this week. I didn't really react to it the first time she said it, but today it clicked. She said that I desperately want something constant in my life that never changes. I want someone that will stay and tell me it's going to be ok. I'm not alone. Honestly, I felt kind of dumb for not seeing it sooner, but that's my human nature getting in the way. It's God. He is always here, always, constant, always loving. His love never fails. He's with me all the time. That is the constant I need to hold on to. And I'm not letting go.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Blessings
Yesterday morning, I woke up and I felt awful. Something was just off. To put it simply, my insides were becoming my outsides. I kept thinking, "Some April Fool's joke this is." As crummy as I felt, it was actually kind of a blessing. I had some extended God time and I realized I really needed it. I was able to really take in God's Word and listen to what He wanted me to hear. I read Psalm 73. One passage left a mark.
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:23-25
What beautiful words. It was so refreshing and renewing to me. Kind of funny that getting sick was actually a good thing in the end. It just goes to show that certain things in our lives can be blessings even if we don't see it. And by the end of the day, I felt much better.
I know this is a short post, but I think I'll keep it simple for today.
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:23-25
What beautiful words. It was so refreshing and renewing to me. Kind of funny that getting sick was actually a good thing in the end. It just goes to show that certain things in our lives can be blessings even if we don't see it. And by the end of the day, I felt much better.
I know this is a short post, but I think I'll keep it simple for today.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It's a Process
I'm not quite sure how to start this post. I guess I should start it by saying that I've been thinking everything that's happened in my life this past year. God has changed me a lot this year, and I've learned many things about myself. Probably one of the biggest things I've learned is that my faith journey is a process. God is not going to change you overnight. Sometimes it can be very hard. I want to share with you guys some truths that I've learned and am continuing to learn.
1. Don't be afraid to let people in. I'm one of those people that knows when I need help. If you're struggling with something, don't just keep it all inside. I know that it's hard to open up and be transparent with someone, but having that trust and support is such a blessing. One of my friends put it this way: "God will not make us perfect overnight because that will not give Him the most glory. Letting others in on your struggles and letting them help you grow will give God so much more glory than you becoming perfect and never messing up." That being said, that does not mean you have to tell the whole world your problems! Go to someone in your life that you trust and know will be there for you. Even if you feel like you're having trouble talking about what you're going through, God will give you the opportunity to open up. You just have to trust Him. God has provided wonderful friends to me that give me so much love and support. I don't know what I would do without them.
2. Cut yourself some slack. Realize that you're not perfect, and that's ok. We're human. We're sinners. We mess up. Trying to be perfect all the time doesn't work. In Romans 7 Paul states that we do what we do not want to do because we are ruled by human nature. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. God is shaping you into the person He wants you to be. Know that you're not alone in this.
3. Be patient. Like I said before, this is a process. God is not going to change you overnight. It's His timing, not yours. I know that this one of the things I've struggled with the most. But God has been teaching me that I just need to give everything up to Him. That's a scary task. We like knowing how things are going to turn out. There have been many times when I've given it to God said it's in His hands, and then I turned around and took it all back. But I'm here to tell you, God knows so much better than you do. He has amazing plans for you. I know that giving Him control is hard, but it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. He will bless you in ways you never imagined.
I don't know everything, and I'm still learning. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me.
1. Don't be afraid to let people in. I'm one of those people that knows when I need help. If you're struggling with something, don't just keep it all inside. I know that it's hard to open up and be transparent with someone, but having that trust and support is such a blessing. One of my friends put it this way: "God will not make us perfect overnight because that will not give Him the most glory. Letting others in on your struggles and letting them help you grow will give God so much more glory than you becoming perfect and never messing up." That being said, that does not mean you have to tell the whole world your problems! Go to someone in your life that you trust and know will be there for you. Even if you feel like you're having trouble talking about what you're going through, God will give you the opportunity to open up. You just have to trust Him. God has provided wonderful friends to me that give me so much love and support. I don't know what I would do without them.
2. Cut yourself some slack. Realize that you're not perfect, and that's ok. We're human. We're sinners. We mess up. Trying to be perfect all the time doesn't work. In Romans 7 Paul states that we do what we do not want to do because we are ruled by human nature. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. God is shaping you into the person He wants you to be. Know that you're not alone in this.
3. Be patient. Like I said before, this is a process. God is not going to change you overnight. It's His timing, not yours. I know that this one of the things I've struggled with the most. But God has been teaching me that I just need to give everything up to Him. That's a scary task. We like knowing how things are going to turn out. There have been many times when I've given it to God said it's in His hands, and then I turned around and took it all back. But I'm here to tell you, God knows so much better than you do. He has amazing plans for you. I know that giving Him control is hard, but it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. He will bless you in ways you never imagined.
I don't know everything, and I'm still learning. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I'm No Better Than The Israelites
In my History and Faith class we're studying the Old Testament. We just finished covering the Israelites getting out of Egypt and going to the Promised Land. Now, one thing I've noticed about these stories about the Israelites (Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Joshua, etc.) is that there is a common theme. The Israelites complain. A lot. Not a verse goes by without them grumbling about not having any water or food or why did we come all the way out here just to wander the desert and God has forgotten about us. God didn't forget about them. They forgot about God. Whenever they faced hardship, the Israelites instantly doubted. The whole time I was reading this, I was thinking, "Ok. Why are they having such a hard time with this? God brought them out of Egypt! He cut an ocean in half for them! He can do anything! They've seen countless miracles, and yet they still doubt. Why aren't they able to trust Him?"
Then, I realized something. The Israelites doubted because they're human. And I'm no better. It doesn't matter how many times God shows Himself in our lives. We're human. We mess up. It's hard to give everything to God and trust that things will work out. We think that we can do it ourselves and turn from God. But no matter how many times we fall, God picks us back up. He was with the Israelites through it all, and He's with me through it all. God has overcome the world. There's nothing in my life that He hasn't seen or can't handle. He's been there; He gets it. His love covers all, and that's more than I could ask for.
Then, I realized something. The Israelites doubted because they're human. And I'm no better. It doesn't matter how many times God shows Himself in our lives. We're human. We mess up. It's hard to give everything to God and trust that things will work out. We think that we can do it ourselves and turn from God. But no matter how many times we fall, God picks us back up. He was with the Israelites through it all, and He's with me through it all. God has overcome the world. There's nothing in my life that He hasn't seen or can't handle. He's been there; He gets it. His love covers all, and that's more than I could ask for.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Without Defect
I was reading in Leviticus this morning. There is one chapter that talks all about sacrifices. One thing I noticed is that God kept emphasizing to Moses that the animals he brought as an offering had to be male and without defect. I've read this phrase before in the Old Testament, but I never really thought much of it. But today, it clicked for me. There's a reason the offerings had those requirements. God was giving the Israelites a sign.
Male and without defect. These animals had to be perfect in order to be brought before God to atone for sin. There wasn't anything wrong with them. It's a foreshadowing. Jesus was perfect. He was without defect. And he gave up his life for our sin. He is the ultimate sacrifice. The animals were just a symbol of what was to come. It blew my mind when I realized this. I don't why I didn't see it until now. It makes so much sense. Jesus being compared to a lamb going to the slaughter, the ultimate sacrifice, being without sin; it's so simple, yet so profound. I love it when I come across things like that. Who knew that one 4 word phrase would have so much of an impact? God never ceases to amaze me.
Male and without defect. These animals had to be perfect in order to be brought before God to atone for sin. There wasn't anything wrong with them. It's a foreshadowing. Jesus was perfect. He was without defect. And he gave up his life for our sin. He is the ultimate sacrifice. The animals were just a symbol of what was to come. It blew my mind when I realized this. I don't why I didn't see it until now. It makes so much sense. Jesus being compared to a lamb going to the slaughter, the ultimate sacrifice, being without sin; it's so simple, yet so profound. I love it when I come across things like that. Who knew that one 4 word phrase would have so much of an impact? God never ceases to amaze me.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Teaching
When you go through a trial, a lot of times people ask you what God is trying to teach you. As I look back on this year, I can honestly say that it's been the hardest year of my life so far. I've been through many trials and it hasn't been easy, but God has taught me quite a few things.
One thing God has taught me about is change. I can't stand change. I like things to remain constant and steady. And yet, in the past year, I've started college twice. It's one thing to start school; it's an entirely different game when you leave a place that gave you strong community, deep friendships, and a re-ignited faith and come to a new place. Having to basically start over; adjust, find classes, meet people. I'll be honest: it's extremely hard. I miss h2o so much. I know some of you read my blog who are a part of h2o. I will never be able to thank you guys for what you have done and continue to do for me. God brought me to Mount Vernon for a reason. I might not know what that reason is yet, but I do know that coming here was the right decision. God has really been showing me how to cope with change by showing me things that are still constant in my life. They will never change.
1. Him: God was and is and is to come. He will never leave me. Last night I prayed for God to show me His love. This morning in chapel I was having a hard time. We had extended worship time for prayer and communion, and the band started playing How He Loves Us. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that God was there with me in that moment. I just, felt it.
2. My faith: This is one part of my life that will never be shaken. I know what I believe in and I will always stand firm in it. Simple as that.
3. My family: You know that your family loves you when they all surround you in a giant hug. I have such wonderful support from my family. My parents have helped me so much and will always be there for me.
One thing God has taught me about is change. I can't stand change. I like things to remain constant and steady. And yet, in the past year, I've started college twice. It's one thing to start school; it's an entirely different game when you leave a place that gave you strong community, deep friendships, and a re-ignited faith and come to a new place. Having to basically start over; adjust, find classes, meet people. I'll be honest: it's extremely hard. I miss h2o so much. I know some of you read my blog who are a part of h2o. I will never be able to thank you guys for what you have done and continue to do for me. God brought me to Mount Vernon for a reason. I might not know what that reason is yet, but I do know that coming here was the right decision. God has really been showing me how to cope with change by showing me things that are still constant in my life. They will never change.
1. Him: God was and is and is to come. He will never leave me. Last night I prayed for God to show me His love. This morning in chapel I was having a hard time. We had extended worship time for prayer and communion, and the band started playing How He Loves Us. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that God was there with me in that moment. I just, felt it.
2. My faith: This is one part of my life that will never be shaken. I know what I believe in and I will always stand firm in it. Simple as that.
3. My family: You know that your family loves you when they all surround you in a giant hug. I have such wonderful support from my family. My parents have helped me so much and will always be there for me.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Naz
Hello all!
Today, I'd like to break from my usual format and talk about what's been going on the past day and a half. Yesterday, I moved in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. As most of us know, yesterday was also part the "snowpocalypse" as people are calling it. I got a call from my RD that morning saying that Mount Vernon's power went out and they didn't know when it was coming back on. (The power goes out pretty frequently at Mount Vernon, so they know how to handle it.) She said that the dorms were still open for people to move in, although she advised me not to come down that day because of the weather. At that point it was snowing and was extremely windy, so my family and I just waited it out until noon. After some consideration, we decided it would be best to move me in just in case I had class the next day. So we packed up the car and headed out. On the way down, my sister got a call from one of her friends who goes to Mount Vernon. The power still wasn't on. The PSU (student union building) was the only building that had power and heat (they have a gas generator). If the power didn't come back on in an hour, the school was going to have everyone camp out in the gym for the night (which is in the PSU). Now, Mount Vernon is an extremely small school, so yes, the entire student body would fit in the gym. When I heard this, my first thought was not "oh great what a way to start out at the naz." My first thought was, "Awesome! Party in the gym!" This goes to show how calm I was. I give God all the glory for that because I have no idea why I wasn't freaking out about the whole ordeal. We got to Mount Vernon just fine. I had to move all my stuff in in the dark, but thankfully it was still light outside so we could see some. The power finally came back on around 7pm and has been on since then. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming so far. I had about 6 people walk up to my room to introduce themselves and want to know how I was. People had written on the whiteboard outside my door welcoming me to Mount Vernon. People I didn't even know! It was so refreshing, and so much better than when I moved in to Kent (no offense Kent, but you kinda missed the mark on move in day). God has answered so many of my prayers during this time. He is my Rock and He is with me!
Today, I'd like to break from my usual format and talk about what's been going on the past day and a half. Yesterday, I moved in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. As most of us know, yesterday was also part the "snowpocalypse" as people are calling it. I got a call from my RD that morning saying that Mount Vernon's power went out and they didn't know when it was coming back on. (The power goes out pretty frequently at Mount Vernon, so they know how to handle it.) She said that the dorms were still open for people to move in, although she advised me not to come down that day because of the weather. At that point it was snowing and was extremely windy, so my family and I just waited it out until noon. After some consideration, we decided it would be best to move me in just in case I had class the next day. So we packed up the car and headed out. On the way down, my sister got a call from one of her friends who goes to Mount Vernon. The power still wasn't on. The PSU (student union building) was the only building that had power and heat (they have a gas generator). If the power didn't come back on in an hour, the school was going to have everyone camp out in the gym for the night (which is in the PSU). Now, Mount Vernon is an extremely small school, so yes, the entire student body would fit in the gym. When I heard this, my first thought was not "oh great what a way to start out at the naz." My first thought was, "Awesome! Party in the gym!" This goes to show how calm I was. I give God all the glory for that because I have no idea why I wasn't freaking out about the whole ordeal. We got to Mount Vernon just fine. I had to move all my stuff in in the dark, but thankfully it was still light outside so we could see some. The power finally came back on around 7pm and has been on since then. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming so far. I had about 6 people walk up to my room to introduce themselves and want to know how I was. People had written on the whiteboard outside my door welcoming me to Mount Vernon. People I didn't even know! It was so refreshing, and so much better than when I moved in to Kent (no offense Kent, but you kinda missed the mark on move in day). God has answered so many of my prayers during this time. He is my Rock and He is with me!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Let's Take a Journey
Last night at church, my pastor challenged us to ask God to show us something to obey the next time we read our Bible. This morning, I opened my Bible to Psalm 23. I would guess that most of you are familiar with this passage (the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want, etc.). I've read this verse quite a few times before, but there was one line that jumped out at me this time. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me." How many times have I looked at that verse and never fully grasped what it said? I don't have to be afraid, because God is with me. A great sense of peace came over me as I realized it. No matter what life throws at me, God is with me. He's with me all the time. Every step of the way.
Now, while this is a wonderful verse, it is hard to do. When was the last time you were afraid? Probably more recent than you think. We're put in a new situation and think that we're on our own. Then comes the worry. The what-ifs. The doubt. We try to figure out what to do ourselves instead of turning to God first. I'll be the first to admit that there have been times when I've done this. It doesn't work very well. God doesn't want bad things to happen to us. It's when our sinful nature gets in the way that we get in trouble.
Something that can be very scary is starting down a new path. For me, this is something that is happening right now. This coming Wednesday, I'm moving in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. I'm going from a giant state school to a small private one. New semester, new classes, trying to find my way, meeting people; basically I'm kind of starting over again. That's a pretty daunting task. I don't know what's going to happen, but God is with me. I don't have to be afraid. He's bringing me to Mount Vernon for a reason and He has my best interests in mind. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me."
Now, while this is a wonderful verse, it is hard to do. When was the last time you were afraid? Probably more recent than you think. We're put in a new situation and think that we're on our own. Then comes the worry. The what-ifs. The doubt. We try to figure out what to do ourselves instead of turning to God first. I'll be the first to admit that there have been times when I've done this. It doesn't work very well. God doesn't want bad things to happen to us. It's when our sinful nature gets in the way that we get in trouble.
Something that can be very scary is starting down a new path. For me, this is something that is happening right now. This coming Wednesday, I'm moving in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. I'm going from a giant state school to a small private one. New semester, new classes, trying to find my way, meeting people; basically I'm kind of starting over again. That's a pretty daunting task. I don't know what's going to happen, but God is with me. I don't have to be afraid. He's bringing me to Mount Vernon for a reason and He has my best interests in mind. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me."
Monday, January 24, 2011
After God's Own Heart
I'm in the process of reading Psalms. It's one of my favorite books for quite a few reasons. For one, they're written lyrically like poems and songs and use similes, metaphors, and images. Second, most of them were written by David. And third, they're relatable. The psalms cover so many different topics. One thing that is great about David is that not only is he a man after God's own heart, he's also completely and utterly human. He makes mistakes; most of the time they're pretty bad ones (like the whole Bathsheba incident). Despite all of David's mess ups, he still comes to God. You can learn from him. I now know that if I pretend to be crazy I can keep from being beheaded (see Psalm 34), and that even David felt like God was distant from him sometimes (see Psalm 4).
One passage that really jumped out at me was Psalm 16:5-8. "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
David knows that God is always with him. He wants to shape David into the person he was meant to be. David knows that God has a plan for him, and it's better than anything he could come up with. He doesn't have to worry about the future. With God beside him, there's nothing he can't do. This passage gives me great comfort every time I read it. God is always with me, he knows what's best for me, and he wants to make me into the person I'm meant to be. I don't have to be afraid of the future because God is already there. I tend to over think things and make myself worry, but knowing God is there calms my fears. He will never give me more than what I can handle. I've been trying to keep this verse in mind whenever I feel anxious or nervous about something. Everything is going to be okay, because I am in God's hands.
One passage that really jumped out at me was Psalm 16:5-8. "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
David knows that God is always with him. He wants to shape David into the person he was meant to be. David knows that God has a plan for him, and it's better than anything he could come up with. He doesn't have to worry about the future. With God beside him, there's nothing he can't do. This passage gives me great comfort every time I read it. God is always with me, he knows what's best for me, and he wants to make me into the person I'm meant to be. I don't have to be afraid of the future because God is already there. I tend to over think things and make myself worry, but knowing God is there calms my fears. He will never give me more than what I can handle. I've been trying to keep this verse in mind whenever I feel anxious or nervous about something. Everything is going to be okay, because I am in God's hands.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What Will You Give Up?
I was reading a passage in Luke about Jesus talking to a young man of great wealth. Upon telling the man to sell all of this possessions and come follow Him, the man became sad because he knew he had much. So he left, unable to follow Jesus. I think the man left not because he was selfish, but because he realized how much he was going to have to give up and sacrifice in order to follow Jesus, and that scared him.
Following God is no easy task. There's no passage in the Bible that says "Following God is a walk in the park." What it does say is this: "I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." -Luke 18:29-30
When you make the decision to follow God's plan for your life, you're going to have to make sacrifices. It could mean leaving your home, giving up finances, or in some cases, moving across the country or even the world. This passage shows that Jesus knows how hard it is to follow Him. He understands what He is asking of us. So while it's not an easy task, it is one of great reward.
Following God is no easy task. There's no passage in the Bible that says "Following God is a walk in the park." What it does say is this: "I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." -Luke 18:29-30
When you make the decision to follow God's plan for your life, you're going to have to make sacrifices. It could mean leaving your home, giving up finances, or in some cases, moving across the country or even the world. This passage shows that Jesus knows how hard it is to follow Him. He understands what He is asking of us. So while it's not an easy task, it is one of great reward.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Shine On
2011 is such an awkward sounding year. It just doesn't have the same ring as 2010. However, I will not judge 2011 because of its name. It's only a few days old, after all. So far, it's been pretty good.
When I think back on this past year, there are many things I remember. 2010 was filled with changes for me, and I have a feeling that things are going to continue to change. I'm going to discuss the events that I feel are the most important and how they impacted me. So here we go (in no particular order)
1. Starting college
This may seem like a cop out to some, but let's face it- college is a big change. Especially when it's at Kent State with 20,000 other students. It was a huge adjustment for me. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I did. The first week was really tough, but with God's help I figured things out, got involved, and found my groove.
2. Re-igniting the fire (h2o)
When I started school, I realized how important my faith is to me. I was tired of being stagnant. I wanted more. This first semester, God has taken hold of me and I have taken hold of Him, and neither one of us is letting go. This is the closest I've ever felt to God. My faith is my own and I am actively pursuing God. I want to do His will for my life. h2o is the church I got involved with at Kent. I found an incredible community of amazing people that took me in, challenged me, and helped me grow. They are my second family and I will never be able to thank them enough for everything they've done. This is by far the most important thing that happened this year. I am chasing after God with every fiber of my being.
3. Following God's will
Ok, this one and #2 might be tied. Following God's will is never easy. It's something that I've been praying about a lot. This first semester has been filled with a lot of changes, and one thing is very significant. I am no longer a student at Kent State. I'm transferring to Mount Vernon Nazarene University for the spring semester. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I feel that God is calling me there and I would never go back on what he wants for my life. He knows better that I do anyway. I really do like Kent, but Mount Vernon is a better fit for me.
That's my Top 3. It's been crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over again. I'm starting down a new road, and with God by me, it will be a great journey. In the words of needtobreathe:
Shine on, shine on
And let the others see
You've got your victory
Will you remember me
When I think back on this past year, there are many things I remember. 2010 was filled with changes for me, and I have a feeling that things are going to continue to change. I'm going to discuss the events that I feel are the most important and how they impacted me. So here we go (in no particular order)
1. Starting college
This may seem like a cop out to some, but let's face it- college is a big change. Especially when it's at Kent State with 20,000 other students. It was a huge adjustment for me. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I did. The first week was really tough, but with God's help I figured things out, got involved, and found my groove.
2. Re-igniting the fire (h2o)
When I started school, I realized how important my faith is to me. I was tired of being stagnant. I wanted more. This first semester, God has taken hold of me and I have taken hold of Him, and neither one of us is letting go. This is the closest I've ever felt to God. My faith is my own and I am actively pursuing God. I want to do His will for my life. h2o is the church I got involved with at Kent. I found an incredible community of amazing people that took me in, challenged me, and helped me grow. They are my second family and I will never be able to thank them enough for everything they've done. This is by far the most important thing that happened this year. I am chasing after God with every fiber of my being.
3. Following God's will
Ok, this one and #2 might be tied. Following God's will is never easy. It's something that I've been praying about a lot. This first semester has been filled with a lot of changes, and one thing is very significant. I am no longer a student at Kent State. I'm transferring to Mount Vernon Nazarene University for the spring semester. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I feel that God is calling me there and I would never go back on what he wants for my life. He knows better that I do anyway. I really do like Kent, but Mount Vernon is a better fit for me.
That's my Top 3. It's been crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over again. I'm starting down a new road, and with God by me, it will be a great journey. In the words of needtobreathe:
Shine on, shine on
And let the others see
You've got your victory
Will you remember me
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