A New Year

This past week was the start of my senior year of high school. My first day was Thursday(who starts school on a thursday anyway?). So far I think it's going to be a good year. A lot of things have changed this year. One thing about my schedule for this year is that my lunc hperiod is very late in the day, as in 10th period, which basically is at one in the afternoon. Now, normally 10th period lunch has pretty much all freshman in it. The senior commons, which is where the upperclassmen eat, is closed during 10th period lunch. So any seniors who have lunch then have to eat in the main cafeteria. I walked into the cafeteria the first day, and I recongnized nobody. It was all freshmen. Little, immature freshman that think they know everythiing because they're in high school now. But then a group of kids from my grade found me and we all congregated at a big table in the back. I kid you not, we are the only seniors in there. Now, the people I sit with are people that I've been through middle school and all of high school with, but we aren't great friends by any means. Sitting with them made me realize how much all of us have changed. A couple of years ago, these people probably wouldn't have given me the time of day. But now, we all talk and laugh together. Everybody is nice to each other. It doesn't matter anymore who is the most popular. We've all matured so much. I finally feel like I know who I am this year. I'm comfortable in my skin. It doesn't matter what other people think. I 'm proud of who I am and what I stand for.

Too Much Stuff

I have a tendency to think about things too much sometimes. I worry about what's going to happen to me in the future. What someone thinks about me. Jumping to conclusions. Overanalyzing something until I can't get it out of my head. This evening I had way too many things smashed into my mind. What am I going to do about college? Why is my golf team split up at different courses now? School starts next week. The list goes way on after that. I decided to clear my head and take my dog for a walk. It was such a nice quiet night. It was starting to cool down and the crickets were warming up for a concert. I didn't see a lot of people on my walk, and I was able to reflect on some things. Number One: I've done a lot of things this summer. Going to Ecuador was hands down the highlight. Number Two: I'm going back to school a different person than I was at the begining of the summer. Number Three: I should stop stressing over things because God is in control and loves me more than I will ever know. After realizing this, my walk became much more enjoyable. I didn't want to go back home right away, so I just kind of wandered around my neighborhood. I walked past places from my childhood. The culdesac where I learned how to ride a bike. The house that some friends of mine used to live in. I would go fishing in their lake. I talked to my next door neighbor for a few minutes. I don't think I, or anyone in my family has exchanged pleasantries with them since I was young. She was shocked that my sisters and I were going to be seniors and told me what her daughter was doing these days. I walked into my yard with a renewed soul and a clear head. Everything was going to be just fine.

Life's A Climb

I watched the Hannah Montana Movie last night with my sisters. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It's pretty well done for the most part. I'm not a big fan of Miley Cyrus. After all of the rumors that have circulated about her, I just don't know what to think anymore. I would like to think that she really is a strong Christian. I would like to think that all the pressures of her career have just brought her down and she doesn't know what to do. I know that she has made some mistakes, we all do. Hers unfortunately had to be in the public eye. It is my hope and prayer that she is able to remember what is important in life, like in the movie. And I hope that we can all remember that in our lives as well.

Writing

I decided to start this blog after I got back from Ecuador because a dear friend of mine said he liked reading my writing. I wanted to share my ideas and thoughts with other people. Honestly, I don't know how many people read this blog, but I've gotten good feedback(mostly from friends and family). Anyway, writing is one of my passions. I love being able to create something that I know is going to affect people when they read it. At first, my writing just consisted of documenting my daily life in my journal, which I still do. As I've gotten older, I've written a short story, added poetry to my writing skills and I have an idea for a screenplay. The one thing I wish I could do is write a song. Music is a big influence in my life, but everytime I've tried to write one, it just hasn't been what I wanted. I couldn't get the words to flow right, or it didn't sound the way I wanted it to. I also play guitar, so trying to find the right chords made it increasingly difficult for me. My dad also plays guitar, and he has written two songs that my church's band have performed. They are amazing. I don't know how he does it. One of the songs, I Know My God Reigns, the band just debuted today during the service. Everyone went crazy for it. It has a sort of southern rock feel to it mixed with a little bit of a Bon Jovi vibe. Put in some harmonica too, and we are talking major rocking out here. It was so great. I wish I could have been up there playing it with him. Never in a million years did I think my dad would write a song. But he's good at it! So what's stopping me from trying again? I want to write one with my dad. With our ideas together, who knows what we'll come up with!

Younglife

"Do you remember when we were just kids nad cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss? Schoolyard conversations taken to heart, and laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not." This is a lyric from the song Inevitable by Anberlin. It's one of my favorite songs for many reasons. For one thing, the song is musically complex, with many different elements that give it almost a romantic haunting feel. Second, the lyrics are beautiful. Those first two sentences especially stand out to me. I remember when I was a little kid. I didn't have a care in the world. Everyone was friends with everyone, and nobody cared what music you listened to or how cool your clothes were. We just had fun. And I distinctly remember playing in cardboard boxes. We were too innocent to realize the complexities of life, yet we understood things that most adults took years to finally figure out. What happened to those days? We grew up. People became jaded. Kids we were best friends with were now our enemies. It became all about image instead of who had the best lunch or got to swing on the swings first. Why can we be so blind sometimes? I try really hard not to be judgmental of people. I think that's the first thing we lose when we start to grow up. The power to see people for who they are, and not what they look like or who they hang out with. This becomes increasingly difficult in high school. Honestly, high school really sucks sometimes. People can be really cruel. We need to remember our younglife days (also the name of an Anberlin song). Nothing mattered then.

Changes

I went to a graduation party for one of my friends today. While I had a good time, I realized that my friend and I really don't have that much in common anymore. We're both starting new phases in our lives. Her goals and values changed. We're not the same people we once were. This got me thinking about how much people change sometimes. I know a lot of people that I was best friends with when I was younger and now we don't see each other that much. I had one friend that I was really close with during middle school. We were inseparable. Once we started high school, our friendship pretty much ended. It was very sudden and without explanation. I was extremely hurt. I couldn't figure out why we had stopped being friends. For the longest time I thought it was my fault. That I had done something that had caused our friendship to end. We would walk past each other in the hall and it would be like we had never even known each other. She started hanging out with a different group of friends. I would try to talk to her at football games and she ended up ditching me twice. I was the outcast to her. Then, during the begining of sophmore year she moved away. I haven't seen or talked to her in 3 years. I don't know if I'll ever find an answer as to why we stopped being friends. But I know now that it wasn't my fault. God had a reason for why this happened. I was finally able to forgive her for how she hurt me. It took me a while to come to grips with all of this. I don't know where she ended up, but I still pray for her and her family every day. Even if we don't see each other again, I hope that she knows I'm not upset about what happened. I'm not the same person I once was.

Pancakes!

I'm a big fan of pancakes. And food in general. I'm the person that goes to a resturant and gets something really out there because I want to try it. So today my sister's boyfriend came over and they decided to make pancakes for everyone for lunch. Very good idea. But not just any pancakes. Pancakes with strawberries and blueberries and dark chocolate chips. Not milk or semisweet. DARK CHOCOLATE CHIPS! Do you know how delicious it was? We also had sausage and bacon. The bacon had an accident of sorts. It somehow all managed to burn. The entire package. It was still pretty tasty blackened though. So apparently everyone in my family is in a cooking mood today because shortly after lunch my sisters and I (I have 3 sisters) decided we wanted to make dinner. They watched Julie and Julia last night so I guess it sparked their culinary imagination. We all took a recipe and off we went to the store to get ingredients. I'm in charge of dessert(this is also a very good idea). I'm making a topping to go on ice cream that has peaches in it. Oh yes, don't you wish you were at my house tonight? While you may think this blog doesn't have a ton of meaning, it does to me. I have a very close relationship with my sisters. Next year we are all going off to college. As that day comes closer, I'm realizing even more how important the 4 of us spending time together is. It will be hard being away from each other, but I know we will always have one another no matter where we end up.