When you go through a trial, a lot of times people ask you what God is trying to teach you. As I look back on this year, I can honestly say that it's been the hardest year of my life so far. I've been through many trials and it hasn't been easy, but God has taught me quite a few things.
One thing God has taught me about is change. I can't stand change. I like things to remain constant and steady. And yet, in the past year, I've started college twice. It's one thing to start school; it's an entirely different game when you leave a place that gave you strong community, deep friendships, and a re-ignited faith and come to a new place. Having to basically start over; adjust, find classes, meet people. I'll be honest: it's extremely hard. I miss h2o so much. I know some of you read my blog who are a part of h2o. I will never be able to thank you guys for what you have done and continue to do for me. God brought me to Mount Vernon for a reason. I might not know what that reason is yet, but I do know that coming here was the right decision. God has really been showing me how to cope with change by showing me things that are still constant in my life. They will never change.
1. Him: God was and is and is to come. He will never leave me. Last night I prayed for God to show me His love. This morning in chapel I was having a hard time. We had extended worship time for prayer and communion, and the band started playing How He Loves Us. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that God was there with me in that moment. I just, felt it.
2. My faith: This is one part of my life that will never be shaken. I know what I believe in and I will always stand firm in it. Simple as that.
3. My family: You know that your family loves you when they all surround you in a giant hug. I have such wonderful support from my family. My parents have helped me so much and will always be there for me.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Naz
Hello all!
Today, I'd like to break from my usual format and talk about what's been going on the past day and a half. Yesterday, I moved in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. As most of us know, yesterday was also part the "snowpocalypse" as people are calling it. I got a call from my RD that morning saying that Mount Vernon's power went out and they didn't know when it was coming back on. (The power goes out pretty frequently at Mount Vernon, so they know how to handle it.) She said that the dorms were still open for people to move in, although she advised me not to come down that day because of the weather. At that point it was snowing and was extremely windy, so my family and I just waited it out until noon. After some consideration, we decided it would be best to move me in just in case I had class the next day. So we packed up the car and headed out. On the way down, my sister got a call from one of her friends who goes to Mount Vernon. The power still wasn't on. The PSU (student union building) was the only building that had power and heat (they have a gas generator). If the power didn't come back on in an hour, the school was going to have everyone camp out in the gym for the night (which is in the PSU). Now, Mount Vernon is an extremely small school, so yes, the entire student body would fit in the gym. When I heard this, my first thought was not "oh great what a way to start out at the naz." My first thought was, "Awesome! Party in the gym!" This goes to show how calm I was. I give God all the glory for that because I have no idea why I wasn't freaking out about the whole ordeal. We got to Mount Vernon just fine. I had to move all my stuff in in the dark, but thankfully it was still light outside so we could see some. The power finally came back on around 7pm and has been on since then. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming so far. I had about 6 people walk up to my room to introduce themselves and want to know how I was. People had written on the whiteboard outside my door welcoming me to Mount Vernon. People I didn't even know! It was so refreshing, and so much better than when I moved in to Kent (no offense Kent, but you kinda missed the mark on move in day). God has answered so many of my prayers during this time. He is my Rock and He is with me!
Today, I'd like to break from my usual format and talk about what's been going on the past day and a half. Yesterday, I moved in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. As most of us know, yesterday was also part the "snowpocalypse" as people are calling it. I got a call from my RD that morning saying that Mount Vernon's power went out and they didn't know when it was coming back on. (The power goes out pretty frequently at Mount Vernon, so they know how to handle it.) She said that the dorms were still open for people to move in, although she advised me not to come down that day because of the weather. At that point it was snowing and was extremely windy, so my family and I just waited it out until noon. After some consideration, we decided it would be best to move me in just in case I had class the next day. So we packed up the car and headed out. On the way down, my sister got a call from one of her friends who goes to Mount Vernon. The power still wasn't on. The PSU (student union building) was the only building that had power and heat (they have a gas generator). If the power didn't come back on in an hour, the school was going to have everyone camp out in the gym for the night (which is in the PSU). Now, Mount Vernon is an extremely small school, so yes, the entire student body would fit in the gym. When I heard this, my first thought was not "oh great what a way to start out at the naz." My first thought was, "Awesome! Party in the gym!" This goes to show how calm I was. I give God all the glory for that because I have no idea why I wasn't freaking out about the whole ordeal. We got to Mount Vernon just fine. I had to move all my stuff in in the dark, but thankfully it was still light outside so we could see some. The power finally came back on around 7pm and has been on since then. Everyone has been so kind and welcoming so far. I had about 6 people walk up to my room to introduce themselves and want to know how I was. People had written on the whiteboard outside my door welcoming me to Mount Vernon. People I didn't even know! It was so refreshing, and so much better than when I moved in to Kent (no offense Kent, but you kinda missed the mark on move in day). God has answered so many of my prayers during this time. He is my Rock and He is with me!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Let's Take a Journey
Last night at church, my pastor challenged us to ask God to show us something to obey the next time we read our Bible. This morning, I opened my Bible to Psalm 23. I would guess that most of you are familiar with this passage (the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want, etc.). I've read this verse quite a few times before, but there was one line that jumped out at me this time. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me." How many times have I looked at that verse and never fully grasped what it said? I don't have to be afraid, because God is with me. A great sense of peace came over me as I realized it. No matter what life throws at me, God is with me. He's with me all the time. Every step of the way.
Now, while this is a wonderful verse, it is hard to do. When was the last time you were afraid? Probably more recent than you think. We're put in a new situation and think that we're on our own. Then comes the worry. The what-ifs. The doubt. We try to figure out what to do ourselves instead of turning to God first. I'll be the first to admit that there have been times when I've done this. It doesn't work very well. God doesn't want bad things to happen to us. It's when our sinful nature gets in the way that we get in trouble.
Something that can be very scary is starting down a new path. For me, this is something that is happening right now. This coming Wednesday, I'm moving in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. I'm going from a giant state school to a small private one. New semester, new classes, trying to find my way, meeting people; basically I'm kind of starting over again. That's a pretty daunting task. I don't know what's going to happen, but God is with me. I don't have to be afraid. He's bringing me to Mount Vernon for a reason and He has my best interests in mind. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me."
Now, while this is a wonderful verse, it is hard to do. When was the last time you were afraid? Probably more recent than you think. We're put in a new situation and think that we're on our own. Then comes the worry. The what-ifs. The doubt. We try to figure out what to do ourselves instead of turning to God first. I'll be the first to admit that there have been times when I've done this. It doesn't work very well. God doesn't want bad things to happen to us. It's when our sinful nature gets in the way that we get in trouble.
Something that can be very scary is starting down a new path. For me, this is something that is happening right now. This coming Wednesday, I'm moving in to Mount Vernon Nazarene University. I'm going from a giant state school to a small private one. New semester, new classes, trying to find my way, meeting people; basically I'm kind of starting over again. That's a pretty daunting task. I don't know what's going to happen, but God is with me. I don't have to be afraid. He's bringing me to Mount Vernon for a reason and He has my best interests in mind. "I will fear no evil, for you are with me."
Monday, January 24, 2011
After God's Own Heart
I'm in the process of reading Psalms. It's one of my favorite books for quite a few reasons. For one, they're written lyrically like poems and songs and use similes, metaphors, and images. Second, most of them were written by David. And third, they're relatable. The psalms cover so many different topics. One thing that is great about David is that not only is he a man after God's own heart, he's also completely and utterly human. He makes mistakes; most of the time they're pretty bad ones (like the whole Bathsheba incident). Despite all of David's mess ups, he still comes to God. You can learn from him. I now know that if I pretend to be crazy I can keep from being beheaded (see Psalm 34), and that even David felt like God was distant from him sometimes (see Psalm 4).
One passage that really jumped out at me was Psalm 16:5-8. "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
David knows that God is always with him. He wants to shape David into the person he was meant to be. David knows that God has a plan for him, and it's better than anything he could come up with. He doesn't have to worry about the future. With God beside him, there's nothing he can't do. This passage gives me great comfort every time I read it. God is always with me, he knows what's best for me, and he wants to make me into the person I'm meant to be. I don't have to be afraid of the future because God is already there. I tend to over think things and make myself worry, but knowing God is there calms my fears. He will never give me more than what I can handle. I've been trying to keep this verse in mind whenever I feel anxious or nervous about something. Everything is going to be okay, because I am in God's hands.
One passage that really jumped out at me was Psalm 16:5-8. "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."
David knows that God is always with him. He wants to shape David into the person he was meant to be. David knows that God has a plan for him, and it's better than anything he could come up with. He doesn't have to worry about the future. With God beside him, there's nothing he can't do. This passage gives me great comfort every time I read it. God is always with me, he knows what's best for me, and he wants to make me into the person I'm meant to be. I don't have to be afraid of the future because God is already there. I tend to over think things and make myself worry, but knowing God is there calms my fears. He will never give me more than what I can handle. I've been trying to keep this verse in mind whenever I feel anxious or nervous about something. Everything is going to be okay, because I am in God's hands.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What Will You Give Up?
I was reading a passage in Luke about Jesus talking to a young man of great wealth. Upon telling the man to sell all of this possessions and come follow Him, the man became sad because he knew he had much. So he left, unable to follow Jesus. I think the man left not because he was selfish, but because he realized how much he was going to have to give up and sacrifice in order to follow Jesus, and that scared him.
Following God is no easy task. There's no passage in the Bible that says "Following God is a walk in the park." What it does say is this: "I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." -Luke 18:29-30
When you make the decision to follow God's plan for your life, you're going to have to make sacrifices. It could mean leaving your home, giving up finances, or in some cases, moving across the country or even the world. This passage shows that Jesus knows how hard it is to follow Him. He understands what He is asking of us. So while it's not an easy task, it is one of great reward.
Following God is no easy task. There's no passage in the Bible that says "Following God is a walk in the park." What it does say is this: "I tell you the truth, no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." -Luke 18:29-30
When you make the decision to follow God's plan for your life, you're going to have to make sacrifices. It could mean leaving your home, giving up finances, or in some cases, moving across the country or even the world. This passage shows that Jesus knows how hard it is to follow Him. He understands what He is asking of us. So while it's not an easy task, it is one of great reward.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Shine On
2011 is such an awkward sounding year. It just doesn't have the same ring as 2010. However, I will not judge 2011 because of its name. It's only a few days old, after all. So far, it's been pretty good.
When I think back on this past year, there are many things I remember. 2010 was filled with changes for me, and I have a feeling that things are going to continue to change. I'm going to discuss the events that I feel are the most important and how they impacted me. So here we go (in no particular order)
1. Starting college
This may seem like a cop out to some, but let's face it- college is a big change. Especially when it's at Kent State with 20,000 other students. It was a huge adjustment for me. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I did. The first week was really tough, but with God's help I figured things out, got involved, and found my groove.
2. Re-igniting the fire (h2o)
When I started school, I realized how important my faith is to me. I was tired of being stagnant. I wanted more. This first semester, God has taken hold of me and I have taken hold of Him, and neither one of us is letting go. This is the closest I've ever felt to God. My faith is my own and I am actively pursuing God. I want to do His will for my life. h2o is the church I got involved with at Kent. I found an incredible community of amazing people that took me in, challenged me, and helped me grow. They are my second family and I will never be able to thank them enough for everything they've done. This is by far the most important thing that happened this year. I am chasing after God with every fiber of my being.
3. Following God's will
Ok, this one and #2 might be tied. Following God's will is never easy. It's something that I've been praying about a lot. This first semester has been filled with a lot of changes, and one thing is very significant. I am no longer a student at Kent State. I'm transferring to Mount Vernon Nazarene University for the spring semester. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I feel that God is calling me there and I would never go back on what he wants for my life. He knows better that I do anyway. I really do like Kent, but Mount Vernon is a better fit for me.
That's my Top 3. It's been crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over again. I'm starting down a new road, and with God by me, it will be a great journey. In the words of needtobreathe:
Shine on, shine on
And let the others see
You've got your victory
Will you remember me
When I think back on this past year, there are many things I remember. 2010 was filled with changes for me, and I have a feeling that things are going to continue to change. I'm going to discuss the events that I feel are the most important and how they impacted me. So here we go (in no particular order)
1. Starting college
This may seem like a cop out to some, but let's face it- college is a big change. Especially when it's at Kent State with 20,000 other students. It was a huge adjustment for me. I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I did. The first week was really tough, but with God's help I figured things out, got involved, and found my groove.
2. Re-igniting the fire (h2o)
When I started school, I realized how important my faith is to me. I was tired of being stagnant. I wanted more. This first semester, God has taken hold of me and I have taken hold of Him, and neither one of us is letting go. This is the closest I've ever felt to God. My faith is my own and I am actively pursuing God. I want to do His will for my life. h2o is the church I got involved with at Kent. I found an incredible community of amazing people that took me in, challenged me, and helped me grow. They are my second family and I will never be able to thank them enough for everything they've done. This is by far the most important thing that happened this year. I am chasing after God with every fiber of my being.
3. Following God's will
Ok, this one and #2 might be tied. Following God's will is never easy. It's something that I've been praying about a lot. This first semester has been filled with a lot of changes, and one thing is very significant. I am no longer a student at Kent State. I'm transferring to Mount Vernon Nazarene University for the spring semester. This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I feel that God is calling me there and I would never go back on what he wants for my life. He knows better that I do anyway. I really do like Kent, but Mount Vernon is a better fit for me.
That's my Top 3. It's been crazy, but I wouldn't change a thing. I would do it all over again. I'm starting down a new road, and with God by me, it will be a great journey. In the words of needtobreathe:
Shine on, shine on
And let the others see
You've got your victory
Will you remember me
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Family
This past Sunday my church had baptisms. We got the pool in the rec center and we all celebrated as 11 people were welcomed into God's family. I was so excited for everyone. These people are my family. It was so wonderful to be a part of. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. As I looked around the room, I had a beautiful realization. These people aren't just my earthly family, but my eternal family as well. We're going to be in heaven together! Have you ever just thought about that? That's so amazing! I love being a part of God's Kingdom. I think I'll just leave it at that.
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