Of Men and Angels

I've been listening to The Rocket Summer's new album, Of Men and Angels. The Rocket Summer is actually only one guy, Bryce Avery. He has a full band with him when he goes on tour, but when he's recording an album, he plays all of the instruments himself. He's one of the most talented musicians I've ever heard. Plus, he writes all of the songs. He has so much passion for music and it really shows on all the tracks. One of my favorite songs on the album is the title track, Of Men and Angels. It's a very powerful message. The chorus states, "Here I am dear Lord, tasting hints of fame. I don't want it anymore if it's not you that I gain. I wanna fall at your feet, don't wanna fall from your peace. I understand." He's saying that if he gains all this fame and popularity, but loses sight of God, he doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. In our society, it's very easy to lose sight of God. Recently, I've become stagnant with my faith. I would read my Bible, but the words just wouldn't speak to me the way they used to. Going to church, I would sit in my seat and not really hear the sermon. When I prayed, I felt like God wasn't even listening to what I was saying. My words felt useless. But then I realized that I had lost sight of God. It wasn't him that had left, it was me. I let life catch up to me, I didn't take the time to slow down and make time for God. But all along he was right there, waiting patiently. My time away probably only felt like a blink to him, but it was an eternity to me. But I've come back, and I don't plan on leaving.

I'm Back!

Hello there friends. It has been quite a few months since I've posted anything, and for that, I apologize. Here's what's been happening while we were apart. The Diary of Anne Frank was an amazing success. We had almost a full house every night and it couldn't have gone better. I graduated from high school, with honors. I went on a road trip to New York with my sisters and my good friend Laura. Went to a ton of grad parties (I will be continuing that trend this weekend) and last week I started working as an intern at my dad's office. I move files. All day. It's very boring and tedious, but it pays well and I need to save up for college. It's very surreal knowing that I'm leaving for college in 3 months. I'm starting down a new path (ugh, such a cliche!) but it is true. I'm not quite sure what to think yet. That and I don't know what dorm I'm in or who my roommate is yet.

Anyway, now that we're all caught up, there is something that I would like to discuss. Something that connects all kids my age. Toy Story. The movies started coming out when we were kids. They are a part of our life. I'm a huge fan of Toy Story. It made me believe that my toys came alive when I left the room and it was funny. Now, the final installment of the films is in theaters. I haven't seen it yet and I feel that I need to change that soon! But there's something about the movie that I can already relate to. As we know, Andy goes to college in this movie and his toys have to cope with the fact that he's grown up. This movie relates to every single kid my age. We have grown up with Andy. Just like him, we are starting this new journey and leaving our Buzzes and Woodys behind. But it's not just toys, it's our childhood. I feel like this movie is one of the final pieces of my childhood. The innocence, the imagination, I don't want it to fade. I don't think it ever fully will leave, but right now it just feels like it is. This is a lot to take in for me at times. Even though I don't know what to expect, I'm excited. And I think I'll bring my teddy bear with me. I don't want him to get lonely!

Life, Love, and Things of That Nature

So it's been about a month since I've posted something on here. It's kind of scary to me how quickly life can catch up with us and we can forget about things. I feel like this blog helps me remember what's important to me, and when I realized it was starting to fall to the wayside, I knew that that wasn't right. I need to keep writing it. I like having this outlet to share my thoughts. My life has been extremely busy these past four weeks. Let's see if I can recap it as briefly as possible:

Auditions for my school's spring play were held. We are doing The Diary of Anne Frank. I tried out and got the part of Miep Gies, one of the people who helped hide the Franks, so I'm excited about that. My theatre class is also putting on a show, Opal's Baby, which I'm an understudy for. Second semester is in full swing now and I'm starting to count down the days! Only four more months...

Now, back to what I want to talk about today. I was listening to music a few days ago and I started thinking about how many songs there are that are about love. Thousands of them. Personally, I think sometimes the music industry has milked the idea if love a little too much. We sing about looking for love, finding it, losing it, regreting it, wanting revenge on it, dreaming of it again, wanting the love that we can't have; you get the picture. And it's not just music that has stretched love beyond the limit. I think our society has turned love into something that it was never meant to be. It doesn't even sound like a word anymore; we've used it so much. And it can mean a lot of different things. I could say that I love pizza and that I love my mom in the same sentence, but doesn't that sound a little odd?

I think the reason behind all this is one simple explanation: We long for love so much that we are willing to compromise and strip it down to the bone to get it. No matter how warped or twisted, if it's there, we'll take it. We've left no stone unturned in our search, and I think we've lost our way.

Real love is not what we've made it to be. It's not superficial or blantantly erotic. This is what I think real love is. Real love is when someone cares for you and wants the best for you. They share in your triumphs and support you in your hardships. They know everything about you. All your dreams, fears, passions, all your strange little habits and quirks. They know your good side and bad side. They've seen you when you are brave and when you are weak, and yet they still love you with all their being. They won't walk away. They will stay with you. They would die for you.

Now, you might be saying, "That's really great, but that's impossible. No one can love anybody that much." Oh, yes they can! I've seen it happen. There is someone who has this kind of love for you. He wants to be near you. He longs for you every day. And he did die for you.

God's love is a wonderful reminder that we are worthy of love. I also whole-heartedly believe that this kind of love can exist between two people. It's not just a hopeless romantic's dream. While it's not easy, the outcome is more rewarding than anything Hollywood or Nashville could dish out.

Forgiveness

Last week at church, a man in our congregation talked about forgiveness. As an example, he used the story of King David and Bathsheba. All it took was one small look at her for David to fall into a spiral of sin. With her husband off at war, there was nothing stopping him from sleeping with her. Then she became pregnant. So David had her husband brought home to be with her so everyone would think he was the father. But he wouldn't go into his house. He slept on the steps of the palace. David panicked. He had Bathsheba's husband put on the front lines of the battle so he would be killed. He was now able to marry Bathsheba, but the damage had been done. David knows what he has done. So does Bathsheba. And so does God.

In one of the Psalms, David is crying out to God for forgiveness. The guilt he had been carrying was tearing him apart. He couldn't live with it. David knew his transgressions were great. He needed God to help him. God forgave him of his sins.
In the next Psalm, he praises God for his loving power and forgiveness. This is so wonderful to me. No matter how many times I mess up, miss the mark, lash out, God will forgive me if I ask. He will cast my sins "as far as the east is from the west." They're gone, forgotten.

So this brings up a question.
If God will forgive us of all our sins, why do some people think that their sin is too great to be forgiven? I've never quite understood how people are able to think this. I've been a Christian since I was five. I've never had that experience. It hurts me to know that some people have so much grief over what they've done that they think they are unforgiveable. They think nothing can save them.

When Jesus was on the cross, he took away all the sins of the entire world. All the sins of the past, present, and future. He took away my sins over 2000 years before I committed them! Every bad and terrinble thing you can think of, Jesus put upon himself. I think that's the reason why he said "It is finished." Our sin was finished.

Books!

I'm a complete and total bookworm. I've been known to read a book in a day. At the moment, there are quite a few books that I really want to read. First, I'm in the process of reading the Harry Potter books for the first time in my life. I'm thoroughly enjoying them, along with the movies. Although, I read the first four books over Christmas break, so I'm kind of on a Harry Potter overload right now. When you have a dream that you turned into Draco Malfoy, that's probably a sign that you need to take a little break. In school my AP Lit class is reading Hamlet. I'm not ashamed to say that I am a Shakespeare fan. His plays are little on the long side, but once you are able to understand the language they're really good. I just finished reading a book of poetry by Walt Whitman. I have to say, Walt knows his stuff. Great imagery and emotion. At the moment I'm reading The Almost True Story of Ryan Fisher. It's not first rate literature, but it's a really funny story so far. And it's a good contrast when I want to go on holiday from Hogwarts. One thing I've come to realize, is that there are a lot of poets, playwrights ,and writers that inspire me. I'm thankful for their ideas that they chose to put down on a page, because they now help me put my ideas to paper. Written words can sometimes be more powerful than spoken ones.

Decade

The new year is less than 2 hours away. Although, most of you probably won't read this until tomorrow. It is the end of a decade. These past ten years have been filled with many things. When it started, I was in third grade. I didn't really understand what the big deal was about it being a new millennium. All I remember about it was that I stood on the back of our friends' porch and banged on pots and pans at midnight. Now, I'm almost 18, going to graduate from high school, and am planning on going to bed shortly after, or possibly before, midnight. I've never really been that much of a celebrator on New Year's Eve. It's the beginning of a new journey for some of us. Earlier this evening I wasn't quite feeling like myself. I thought that I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and for the first time, I questioned if I was making the right decision. It kind of scared me a little. It's tough not knowing what's ahead of us. What I do know, is that God already knows what's coming around the bend. He has big plans for me. It's such a comfort knowing that. Those words were lovingly given to me by my mom, another comfort in my life. The next words I'm going to tell you came from one of my favorite movies, Dan in Real Life. Dan is a newspaper columnist. In one of his articles he states, When you ask a young person, What are your plans? What are your plans for your life? I would tell them, plan to be surprised. Good advice, Dan. Wise words indeed.

Comments on the Holidays

Merry Christmas everyone! My holiday has been really great this year. I hope yours is too. It wasn't just the gift giving that made it special. My family is some of the most amazing people I know. Spending time with them is something that I really cherish. My grandma, who is affectionately known as Grammy, is a very talented seamstress. Every year she makes all of the grankids a gift. This year, she passed out a white fabric bag with a red bow to all of us. Before we opened them, she said, "Your gifts are gold colored this year. We want you to know that no matter where you all go in life, you will always be worth more than gold to us." I got a small lump in my throat as I opened mine. Inside was a gold pillow in the shape of the letter K. My cousins all got a pillow with their initial as well. It's one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. This new year is going to bring some changes for all of us. Knowing that someone cares for you and will be there is a very comforting feeling.