This week marks the beginning of holy week at Mount Vernon. So, obviously the chapel services are about the events leading up to Christ's death and resurrection. Today when I walked in to the sanctuary, I noticed there were bowls and towels lining the steps of the stage. The passage about Jesus washing the disciple's feet was read, and our chaplain explained that Jesus did this as an expression of love toward His disciples. In our society, our feet are usually covered by socks and shoes most of the time. But our chaplain went on to say while our feet are covered, our hands are exposed all the time. They can get very dirty sometimes. As we had worship time, he extended the invitation to us to come down to the altar and take a towel, dip it in the water, and wash some one's hands; to do it to show our love for them. I liked how he talked about our hands instead of our feet (but I also think it was because he knew a lot of students probably didn't want to touch other people's feet).
As the band started to play, people started getting up and going down to either take communion or pray or wash hands. I was sitting at my seat, just observing. I wanted to wash my friends' hands, but for some reason I was hesitant. I didn't want it to be awkward and I wasn't sure if I should. I didn't know if they would be comfortable with it. As I thought about it more, I realized something. When Jesus washed the disciple's feet, He didn't think about if what He was doing was right or appropriate, or what they would think of Him. He just did it. He did it to show His love for them. So I got up, took communion, picked up a towel and dipped it in water. I walked back over to where we were sitting. I didn't really say anything to my friends, but there wasn't anything that needed to be said looking back on it. Our faces said it. As I looked at each of my friends, their expressions told me. They understood. I just took each of their hands and washed them. It was one of the coolest experiences I've had in chapel. I wanted my friends to know that I love them. They are my sisters in Christ. My wonderful, crazy, supportive, hilarious, beautiful sisters in Christ. As I was walking out of the isle, my friend Alex took the towel from me and washed my hands. There is nothing more beautiful and touching to me than seeing the love of Christ being lived out. I saw His love today.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Care
I am a very caring person. If I were an animal, I would be the tail-wagging, sit next to you on the couch, loving persona that is a golden retriever. Or a Black Lab. Just think of Dug from Up ( I have just met you and I love you), and that's me. I have a big heart for people. That being said, when I care about someone or something, I give my heart fully to them. I'm completely invested. While this is good, I've learned that it's also risky. By giving that person my heart, I open the potential for it to be broken, for my love and care not to be accepted, and handed back, or for the feeling not to reciprocated. It makes me vulnerable. I can tell you from experience, it's really hard. It's the ones who care the most that get hurt. As much as I would like to say this isn't true, a lot of times, it is.
Some would say that I "care too much." Another characteristic of being like a golden retriever is that I don't cope with change well. I've talked about this in some of my previous posts. This comes into play especially when someone in my life that I care about leaves. I'll be honest, this is something that I'm having to deal with right now, and I'm having a hard time with it. Part of me doesn't understand why I'm having to go through this situation again. I know that God is trying to teach me something through this, I just don't know what that is exactly. I got to a point where I was frustrated and tired. I remember thinking, "This whole year has been full of changes, and I'm sick of it. I want something to stay constant in my life for once. I'm tired of people coming into my life and then leaving. Why can't things just stay the same?"
A dear friend of mine told me something this week. I didn't really react to it the first time she said it, but today it clicked. She said that I desperately want something constant in my life that never changes. I want someone that will stay and tell me it's going to be ok. I'm not alone. Honestly, I felt kind of dumb for not seeing it sooner, but that's my human nature getting in the way. It's God. He is always here, always, constant, always loving. His love never fails. He's with me all the time. That is the constant I need to hold on to. And I'm not letting go.
Some would say that I "care too much." Another characteristic of being like a golden retriever is that I don't cope with change well. I've talked about this in some of my previous posts. This comes into play especially when someone in my life that I care about leaves. I'll be honest, this is something that I'm having to deal with right now, and I'm having a hard time with it. Part of me doesn't understand why I'm having to go through this situation again. I know that God is trying to teach me something through this, I just don't know what that is exactly. I got to a point where I was frustrated and tired. I remember thinking, "This whole year has been full of changes, and I'm sick of it. I want something to stay constant in my life for once. I'm tired of people coming into my life and then leaving. Why can't things just stay the same?"
A dear friend of mine told me something this week. I didn't really react to it the first time she said it, but today it clicked. She said that I desperately want something constant in my life that never changes. I want someone that will stay and tell me it's going to be ok. I'm not alone. Honestly, I felt kind of dumb for not seeing it sooner, but that's my human nature getting in the way. It's God. He is always here, always, constant, always loving. His love never fails. He's with me all the time. That is the constant I need to hold on to. And I'm not letting go.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Blessings
Yesterday morning, I woke up and I felt awful. Something was just off. To put it simply, my insides were becoming my outsides. I kept thinking, "Some April Fool's joke this is." As crummy as I felt, it was actually kind of a blessing. I had some extended God time and I realized I really needed it. I was able to really take in God's Word and listen to what He wanted me to hear. I read Psalm 73. One passage left a mark.
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:23-25
What beautiful words. It was so refreshing and renewing to me. Kind of funny that getting sick was actually a good thing in the end. It just goes to show that certain things in our lives can be blessings even if we don't see it. And by the end of the day, I felt much better.
I know this is a short post, but I think I'll keep it simple for today.
"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalm 73:23-25
What beautiful words. It was so refreshing and renewing to me. Kind of funny that getting sick was actually a good thing in the end. It just goes to show that certain things in our lives can be blessings even if we don't see it. And by the end of the day, I felt much better.
I know this is a short post, but I think I'll keep it simple for today.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It's a Process
I'm not quite sure how to start this post. I guess I should start it by saying that I've been thinking everything that's happened in my life this past year. God has changed me a lot this year, and I've learned many things about myself. Probably one of the biggest things I've learned is that my faith journey is a process. God is not going to change you overnight. Sometimes it can be very hard. I want to share with you guys some truths that I've learned and am continuing to learn.
1. Don't be afraid to let people in. I'm one of those people that knows when I need help. If you're struggling with something, don't just keep it all inside. I know that it's hard to open up and be transparent with someone, but having that trust and support is such a blessing. One of my friends put it this way: "God will not make us perfect overnight because that will not give Him the most glory. Letting others in on your struggles and letting them help you grow will give God so much more glory than you becoming perfect and never messing up." That being said, that does not mean you have to tell the whole world your problems! Go to someone in your life that you trust and know will be there for you. Even if you feel like you're having trouble talking about what you're going through, God will give you the opportunity to open up. You just have to trust Him. God has provided wonderful friends to me that give me so much love and support. I don't know what I would do without them.
2. Cut yourself some slack. Realize that you're not perfect, and that's ok. We're human. We're sinners. We mess up. Trying to be perfect all the time doesn't work. In Romans 7 Paul states that we do what we do not want to do because we are ruled by human nature. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. God is shaping you into the person He wants you to be. Know that you're not alone in this.
3. Be patient. Like I said before, this is a process. God is not going to change you overnight. It's His timing, not yours. I know that this one of the things I've struggled with the most. But God has been teaching me that I just need to give everything up to Him. That's a scary task. We like knowing how things are going to turn out. There have been many times when I've given it to God said it's in His hands, and then I turned around and took it all back. But I'm here to tell you, God knows so much better than you do. He has amazing plans for you. I know that giving Him control is hard, but it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. He will bless you in ways you never imagined.
I don't know everything, and I'm still learning. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me.
1. Don't be afraid to let people in. I'm one of those people that knows when I need help. If you're struggling with something, don't just keep it all inside. I know that it's hard to open up and be transparent with someone, but having that trust and support is such a blessing. One of my friends put it this way: "God will not make us perfect overnight because that will not give Him the most glory. Letting others in on your struggles and letting them help you grow will give God so much more glory than you becoming perfect and never messing up." That being said, that does not mean you have to tell the whole world your problems! Go to someone in your life that you trust and know will be there for you. Even if you feel like you're having trouble talking about what you're going through, God will give you the opportunity to open up. You just have to trust Him. God has provided wonderful friends to me that give me so much love and support. I don't know what I would do without them.
2. Cut yourself some slack. Realize that you're not perfect, and that's ok. We're human. We're sinners. We mess up. Trying to be perfect all the time doesn't work. In Romans 7 Paul states that we do what we do not want to do because we are ruled by human nature. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. God is shaping you into the person He wants you to be. Know that you're not alone in this.
3. Be patient. Like I said before, this is a process. God is not going to change you overnight. It's His timing, not yours. I know that this one of the things I've struggled with the most. But God has been teaching me that I just need to give everything up to Him. That's a scary task. We like knowing how things are going to turn out. There have been many times when I've given it to God said it's in His hands, and then I turned around and took it all back. But I'm here to tell you, God knows so much better than you do. He has amazing plans for you. I know that giving Him control is hard, but it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done. He will bless you in ways you never imagined.
I don't know everything, and I'm still learning. I'm looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I'm No Better Than The Israelites
In my History and Faith class we're studying the Old Testament. We just finished covering the Israelites getting out of Egypt and going to the Promised Land. Now, one thing I've noticed about these stories about the Israelites (Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Joshua, etc.) is that there is a common theme. The Israelites complain. A lot. Not a verse goes by without them grumbling about not having any water or food or why did we come all the way out here just to wander the desert and God has forgotten about us. God didn't forget about them. They forgot about God. Whenever they faced hardship, the Israelites instantly doubted. The whole time I was reading this, I was thinking, "Ok. Why are they having such a hard time with this? God brought them out of Egypt! He cut an ocean in half for them! He can do anything! They've seen countless miracles, and yet they still doubt. Why aren't they able to trust Him?"
Then, I realized something. The Israelites doubted because they're human. And I'm no better. It doesn't matter how many times God shows Himself in our lives. We're human. We mess up. It's hard to give everything to God and trust that things will work out. We think that we can do it ourselves and turn from God. But no matter how many times we fall, God picks us back up. He was with the Israelites through it all, and He's with me through it all. God has overcome the world. There's nothing in my life that He hasn't seen or can't handle. He's been there; He gets it. His love covers all, and that's more than I could ask for.
Then, I realized something. The Israelites doubted because they're human. And I'm no better. It doesn't matter how many times God shows Himself in our lives. We're human. We mess up. It's hard to give everything to God and trust that things will work out. We think that we can do it ourselves and turn from God. But no matter how many times we fall, God picks us back up. He was with the Israelites through it all, and He's with me through it all. God has overcome the world. There's nothing in my life that He hasn't seen or can't handle. He's been there; He gets it. His love covers all, and that's more than I could ask for.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Without Defect
I was reading in Leviticus this morning. There is one chapter that talks all about sacrifices. One thing I noticed is that God kept emphasizing to Moses that the animals he brought as an offering had to be male and without defect. I've read this phrase before in the Old Testament, but I never really thought much of it. But today, it clicked for me. There's a reason the offerings had those requirements. God was giving the Israelites a sign.
Male and without defect. These animals had to be perfect in order to be brought before God to atone for sin. There wasn't anything wrong with them. It's a foreshadowing. Jesus was perfect. He was without defect. And he gave up his life for our sin. He is the ultimate sacrifice. The animals were just a symbol of what was to come. It blew my mind when I realized this. I don't why I didn't see it until now. It makes so much sense. Jesus being compared to a lamb going to the slaughter, the ultimate sacrifice, being without sin; it's so simple, yet so profound. I love it when I come across things like that. Who knew that one 4 word phrase would have so much of an impact? God never ceases to amaze me.
Male and without defect. These animals had to be perfect in order to be brought before God to atone for sin. There wasn't anything wrong with them. It's a foreshadowing. Jesus was perfect. He was without defect. And he gave up his life for our sin. He is the ultimate sacrifice. The animals were just a symbol of what was to come. It blew my mind when I realized this. I don't why I didn't see it until now. It makes so much sense. Jesus being compared to a lamb going to the slaughter, the ultimate sacrifice, being without sin; it's so simple, yet so profound. I love it when I come across things like that. Who knew that one 4 word phrase would have so much of an impact? God never ceases to amaze me.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Teaching
When you go through a trial, a lot of times people ask you what God is trying to teach you. As I look back on this year, I can honestly say that it's been the hardest year of my life so far. I've been through many trials and it hasn't been easy, but God has taught me quite a few things.
One thing God has taught me about is change. I can't stand change. I like things to remain constant and steady. And yet, in the past year, I've started college twice. It's one thing to start school; it's an entirely different game when you leave a place that gave you strong community, deep friendships, and a re-ignited faith and come to a new place. Having to basically start over; adjust, find classes, meet people. I'll be honest: it's extremely hard. I miss h2o so much. I know some of you read my blog who are a part of h2o. I will never be able to thank you guys for what you have done and continue to do for me. God brought me to Mount Vernon for a reason. I might not know what that reason is yet, but I do know that coming here was the right decision. God has really been showing me how to cope with change by showing me things that are still constant in my life. They will never change.
1. Him: God was and is and is to come. He will never leave me. Last night I prayed for God to show me His love. This morning in chapel I was having a hard time. We had extended worship time for prayer and communion, and the band started playing How He Loves Us. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that God was there with me in that moment. I just, felt it.
2. My faith: This is one part of my life that will never be shaken. I know what I believe in and I will always stand firm in it. Simple as that.
3. My family: You know that your family loves you when they all surround you in a giant hug. I have such wonderful support from my family. My parents have helped me so much and will always be there for me.
One thing God has taught me about is change. I can't stand change. I like things to remain constant and steady. And yet, in the past year, I've started college twice. It's one thing to start school; it's an entirely different game when you leave a place that gave you strong community, deep friendships, and a re-ignited faith and come to a new place. Having to basically start over; adjust, find classes, meet people. I'll be honest: it's extremely hard. I miss h2o so much. I know some of you read my blog who are a part of h2o. I will never be able to thank you guys for what you have done and continue to do for me. God brought me to Mount Vernon for a reason. I might not know what that reason is yet, but I do know that coming here was the right decision. God has really been showing me how to cope with change by showing me things that are still constant in my life. They will never change.
1. Him: God was and is and is to come. He will never leave me. Last night I prayed for God to show me His love. This morning in chapel I was having a hard time. We had extended worship time for prayer and communion, and the band started playing How He Loves Us. I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that God was there with me in that moment. I just, felt it.
2. My faith: This is one part of my life that will never be shaken. I know what I believe in and I will always stand firm in it. Simple as that.
3. My family: You know that your family loves you when they all surround you in a giant hug. I have such wonderful support from my family. My parents have helped me so much and will always be there for me.
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