Abba

Yesterday I did something that I've been thinking about for 3 years. I got the word abba written in Aramaic tattooed on my wrist.




This word has so much meaning to me. Abba means father, but literally translated, it means daddy. It's also used to describe a very close relationship with God. I first came across it while reading the book of Mark. Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane right before he's arrested.

"Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. Abba, Father, he said, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." Mark 14:35-36

Jesus called God daddy. He's fully God and fully man, but in this passage, he's so human. He was scared because he knew what he was going to do was extremely difficult. He cried out for help. But even in his distress, he left it up to God. He wanted to do His will. I think that this makes Jesus dying for our sin so much more powerful.

I also find great comfort in the fact that I can call God my daddy. Yes, I have my earthly father, but I also have my eternal father. He's always there for me. I can come to Him in my time of need. He will never give up on me. And after everything I've been through this year, I wanted a permanent reminder that I will see every day.

God is my Abba.

This is Why I Don't Interact Well With Small Children

I came back from a trip to Colorado. I had an amazing time hanging out with friends, staring at the mountains, and getting some insane pictures. I didn't even care that I had altitude sickness the whole time. There was one thing I found odd during the trip. There were lots of small children on my flight to Colorado and on my flight back. My flight into Denver left at 6:15, so I had to be there really early. You'd think that these kids would be tired and sleep the whole time. They didn't. Not even close. There was screaming, fighting, crying and kicking of my seat. Thankfully, I just cranked up my ipod and I was the one that slept the whole time.

Then, there was the flight back. First off, our flight got delayed so people were getting impatient. I wasn't stressed, I was just sitting there reading my book. Then, he showed up. He being a little boy around the age of 3 with his mom. His name was Oltaire. Yes. Oltaire. Like Voltaire, only without the V. He was very cute at first. Then, it all went down the drain. It started when he asked his mom if he could go look out the window so he could see the plane. She told he could and he ran over. This is what proceeded.

Oltaire: Look at the plane! There's a horse on it! (Starts banging on the window) PLANE!

Oltaire's Mom (In a very chill voice that makes it sound like she doesn't really care): Oltaire, you need to be quiet. (Goes back to staring off into space)

Oltaire: PLANE! PLAANNNEEE!!! (Says lots of others things that are incomprehensible in a high, screeching voice)

Mom (Still not caring): Oltaire, be quiet.

(Oltaire comes over to his mom and takes his stuffed animal out of his bag and throws it at her)

Mom: No, we don't throw things.

(This continues for about a half hour. Oltaire running back and forth to the window, banging on it, squealing and screeching, all the while his Mom seems not to care at all that this is happening and does very little to restrain him)

Oltaire (getting impatient): I wanna go on the plane!

Mom: Honey, we can't. The crew isn't here yet.

Oltaire: But I wanna!

Mom: You can't.

(Oltaire lets out a blood curdling scream. People are starting to stare. Finally, the crew arrives and we start to board.)

At this point, another mom with her small daughter get to board the plane first because they have priority tickets. Oltaire sees this happen and absolutely loses it. Screaming at the top of his lungs and yelling NO! every time his tries to calm him down. He really wanted to get on the plane.

When we finally took off, it became very clear that Oltaire did not, in fact, want to be on the plane. This was proven by him frequently letting out awful screams during the entire 2 and a half hour flight. There was also a baby that was crying the whole flight. I was towards the back so I couldn't see them, but boy could I hear them. We didn't land until about 1 in the morning. I was so thankful to get off that plane.

That's why I don't interact well with small children.

Sovereignty

I hurt myself running last week. My heel had been hurting for about 2 weeks and at first, I thought it was just muscle soreness and tightness. But it didn't get better even though I was stretching and putting ice on it regularly. Last Monday I went on my daily run and I had to stop halfway through because my heel was hurting so much. I got home and it was completely swollen and starting to bruise. Trip to the sports medicine specialist and lo and behold, I have Achilles tendinitis. No running for 6 weeks. Not going to lie, not running is driving me a little nuts. But the important thing is that I'm starting to heal.

Now, why did I choose to start off this post with that? Well, since I'm not able to run right now, I feel like part of my day is missing. Even though my heel hurts, this incident is actually kind of a blessing. I've been having trouble finding time during the day to spend time with God. Slowing down has helped me find that time and I can focus on God.

When we think about God, words like loving and kind come to mind. What about sovereign? That's not a word you hear people use to describe God that often. Sovereignty, in basic terms, is God's total authority and control over all things. The biggest thing that keeps us from recognizing God's sovereignty is our pride. We don't like to think we don't have control.

My pastor used Daniel chapter 4 as an example of how pride causes us to lose sight of God's sovereignty. This chapter deals with King Nebuchadnezzar. This guy had some major pride issues. Ruler of Babylon, he was extremely wealthy, had a huge palace, and at that point in history, he had world dominance. Not to mention that it was during his rule that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were built.

Then one night, King "Nezzar" had a dream, and this dream freaked him out. He dreamt that there was a huge tree that covered the entire earth. All the animals were fed from the tree and it was abundant. But then, the tree was chopped down and just the stump and roots were left. The animals ran away, and suddenly a messenger from heaven starting talking about the tree like it was a man, saying that he was going to live like an animal and think like an animal for 7 years. Yeah, if I had that dream, I might be a little freaked out too.

Daniel interpreted the dream for Nezzar. He told him that the tree was really him. His power was going to be taken from him and he would be driven away from the kingdom. He was going to live and act like an animal for 7 years until "You acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdom of men and gives them to anyone he wishes."

You can guess what happened after this. Nebuchadnezzar's problem was that he thought he had the power. He was so proud of "everything he had done," that he forgot about God. He was taking credit for what God did. It was God who created him and gave him the family he was born into. It was God who gave him the opportunities that got him to this point. And it was God who took away his sanity until he finally got the picture.

How often do you take credit for what God has done in your life? We're all guilty of it. When I thought about this, I took a moment to thank God and praise him for everything he's done for me.

Lord, thank you for creating me and giving me a wonderful family that raised me to love you. Thank you for all of the experiences and opportunities that shaped me and continue to shape me into the person you want me to be. I don't understand everything in my life, but I know that you have control over all things and I am dependent on you. And that gives me peace. All the glory goes to you.

C.S Lewis Is A Genius

I am a huge fan of C.S. Lewis. God gave that man an incredible gift of insight and writing ability. I have a book that has certain passages from his books and I read one the other day that really struck a chord with me. It was so simple and profound.

"Christ says Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don't want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked-the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own shall become yours."

Following Christ is not something you do halfway. It is everything. It's gathering all of your desires, dreams, mistakes, regrets, actions, thoughts, all of it, and standing before Jesus and saying, "Here, you take them."

It's simple and hard at the same time. I don't know everything that God has planned for me, but I'm putting my trust in the fact that he's not going to give me anything I can't handle. I am in his hands and that's all I need.

Run Forrest Run

If you had told me a year ago that I was going to start running again, I would have laughed. But lo and behold, I am a runner. And I love it. I went from running 3 times a week over the summer to build up to 3 miles, to running with the Kent State Running Club, to running on a regular basis at Mount Vernon, running a half marathon (which I still can't believe I did), and now I'm a member of Mount Vernon Nazarene University's cross country team. Crazy.

If you're looking to start a running program, begin slowly. Don't just go out and try to run a 5k right off the bat. Work your way up. Most running programs have you running for a few minutes and then walking for a few minutes until you work up to running 30 minutes straight. Once you hit that, you can slowly start to increase it. I think the program I used was called Couch Potato to 5k, but you can find other programs online. If you're training for a half marathon like I did, make sure you get in some good mileage. It's important to incorporate long runs into your training at least twice a week. I usually do anywhere from 7 all the way up to 10 miles. Go at a pace that feels good and don't try to race it.

Rule 1: Stretch! I cannot stress this enough, especially if you don't have good flexibility, like me. I can't even touch my toes. I know, it's a little sad. Some people say you should stretch before and after you run, others say stretch after. I stretch after I run. It helps keep my muscles loose and it helps with soreness. It's really important after long runs.

Rule 2: HYDRATE. If you read my post about the incident on the side of the highway, you'll understand the importance of hydration. If you're preparing for a race, make sure you hydrate well the day before. Don't drink a ton of water right before you run. It will slow you down and it probably won't feel very good on your stomach. And whatever you do, do not have any dairy before you run! However, chocolate milk is one of the best things to drink after you run. It helps with muscle recovery and hey, it's delicious. One of my favorite beverages.

Rule 3: Food. There's a joke among runners that we can eat whatever we want because we'll burn it all off on our next run. Which, not going to lie, it is kind of true. I eat pretty healthy, but I do love a good burger. Although I stay away from fast food as much as possible. I'm proud to say I haven't set foot in a McDonald's in 5 years. One thing that I absolutely love (and I have a theory that this is common among runners) is ice cream. When I was at school I would eat ice cream every day. And yes, I love pasta. Carbs are a runner's best friend.

It's not uncommon for runners to have stomach issues sometimes. It doesn't happen to everyone, but unfortunately, it happens to me. If you find you are having problems, start taking a daily fiber supplement. I drink Metamucil every day. Yes, it's a weird texture and it doesn't taste that great and if you don't drink it fast enough it gets thick and gritty. But I haven't had any stomach problems since I started taking it. It actually works! So I chug it down and go on with the rest of my day.

I hope you found this interesting even if you aren't a runner. Don't be surprised if you read a post in the future about some of my cross country adventures. Until then, lace up your shoes and happy running!

My Extended Family

When I stop to think about it, I have a huge family. I'm not talking about just my actual family, I mean my family of fellow believers. I heard the phrase brother or sister in Christ for the first time when I started my freshman year of college. At first, I didn't quite understand what it meant. But now I love it. As Christians, we are a giant family. I've been connected with so many people through my faith. It's more than just beliefs to me. It's how I live my life, and I'm so grateful and proud to have others around me that share in this.

When I call someone my brother or sister in Christ, I mean it. We share something much greater than a friendship. And I have brothers and sisters everywhere. Even around the world! How incredible is that? Some of them I haven't seen in a long time, others I talk to on a regular basis. We are a group of amazing, messed up, quirky, wonderful people. We all have different stories and talents. And we using them in some awesome ways.

When I was a part of h2o at Kent, I had the opportunity to spend my summer in Estes Park, Colorado at Leadership Training. I was all signed up and ready to go once school let out, but due to certain circumstances, I wasn't able to go. I was so disappointed and upset as I realized I wouldn't be with my h2o family in the mountains, meeting new people, having the experiences that they were going to have. I'll be honest, I still feel a twinge of sadness when I see pictures on Facebook or hear how they're doing. I really wish I could have gone.

Even though I miss them (a lot), I'm so happy for them and how God is working through and in them this summer. I know He's doing big things there. And I'm going to fly out and visit! I'm so grateful that God has provided a way for me to do that. So stay tuned, LT peeps! I'll let you know when I'm coming!

Childhood

A few days ago my mom broke out the home movies. I've come to the realization that I was an odd little kid. And, after hearing stories from other family members, this trend continues to grow. Apparently, I was always missing as a child. I had a tendency to wander off from my sisters and parents. They would find me off in a corner playing or behind a bush, completely oblivious to my surroundings. I almost gave my mom a heart attack when I wandered off at an amusement park when I was 4. I didn't even realize I was lost. I was just off in my own little world. We were at the pool and my family was on one side. I, for whatever reason, became very interested in something and walked to the other side of the pool. When my mom looked up, I was nowhere to be found. My mom being the awesome person she is, immediately set out to find me. Halfway across the pool, she came upon a lady leading me back to my family by the hand. She was staying at the same hotel as us and recognized me.

Another incident happened at an indoor playground (apparently those exist). My family was getting ready to leave and, not surprisingly, they couldn't find me. After some searching, I was found-under a bench. Why was I under a bench? What was so interesting that I had to go underneath the bench? My child mind was fascinated by weird things.

Thankfully, I've grown out of this phase. I can still be a little oblivious sometimes, but I'm proud to say that I haven't gotten lost.